Hello Walter! This essay was not good, according to me. To start with there are many mistakes(grammatical) which are hard to overlook and ruin the effect of the essay. The mistakes from the "gem" essay have been repeated which is disappointing.
disrespect of visitors
Disrespect "by" visitors
stubborn tourists can go way overboard for its curiosity and negligence.
its?? I think that is wrong. Also, find a better word than negligence, its not going.
There are a few more errors however, I think you are repeating yourself again and again without much substance.
You should start with beach first as it gives a positive start to the essay. Otherwise, its 8 lines of negative lines which is a put off.
You are a good writer and you need to unleash your potential within you.
Cheers.... :)
I hope you don't take it personally. Its my opinion which maybe totally wrong. End of it, its your essay and should gel with you.