Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


Thoughts on my essay about private companies spending more money on research compared to governments


jeewhat 1 / -  
Oct 16, 2014   #1
In the present dynamic and advancing era there is much more involvement of private companies in scientific research compared to the governments. The research done by the National Science Foundation shows that the funding of US Science and Engineering Research by the federal government dropped from 55% to 25% from 1953 to 2008. If the privatization is beneficial to society, is one of the most debated topics in economics and politics. Particular problem areas include changes of scientific papers to the companies' benefits and the funding of long-term, low-return research such as space technology. On the one hand, private funders of research have a large influence on the science sector and use it to increase their profit on the other hand, companies are eager to carry out research, which is ignored by the government.

A large amount of research is not done because the government does not spend enough money on it. Large scientific projects require large amounts of money and the cooperation of many scientists and universities. Most universities and organizations, which are responsible for a high number of research work on a tight budget because of inadequate subsidies, therefore they are compelled to cooperate with private companies. In this case, companies are taking the role of the government and invest in future technology simply because the government is not capable of raising the required amount of money.

Unfortunately, companies often pay scientists to deliver a specific result or want them to publish their results to early or holding the data back for a little longer than they should. New products are usually presented with additional research to convince the customers and investors that their product is the best one available on the market. One of the main reasons why private companies invest in research is to maximize their profit and improve their reputation. Without governmental cooperation and validation the results might not be trustworthy.

Florence Culantuono explains, "Even if the researcher has a pure love of the scientific method, given the right circumstances, such as pride or the right amount of money, there may be some consideration given to skewing the data or holding back on publishing results for a little longer than they should."

Future technologies depend on well-organized scientific research. Governments and the private sector have to cooperate and validate each other's research to guarantee trustworthy and reasonable results.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Oct 16, 2014   #2
Here, at the beginning, I wonder what purpose you have for using the word 'dynamic':
In the present dynamic and advancing era there is much more ...
I also wonder what you mean by 'advancing era'... When you use these terms, it seems like you are trying to express an idea about how more involvement by private companies affects the dynamics of the mechanisms that underlie scientific research - or it seems like perhaps you are trying to express an idea about how an 'advancing era' is one in which more companies are involved and government is less involved.

Maybe what you are saying is that in a capitalist economy there is a tendency for tight restrictions to be imposed on government funding (by corporations that do not want to pay more in taxes than necessary, and do not want to pay employees more than necessary, which leaves a situation where the government must streamline its expenditures and has less ability to spend money on scientific research.

But anyway, it is not good to try to express so much in a single sentence. Maybe shorter sentences are clearer:
In the present dynamic and advancing era current era, there is much more ...

I'll add a word to the end of the sentence, because I think this way it will be clearer:
...involvement of private companies in scientific research compared to the involvement of governments.

Again, I suggest short sentences:
Most universities and organizations, which are responsible for a high number of must conduct research work on a tight budget because of inadequate subsidies, and therefore they are compelled to cooperate with private companies.

***When I write, I always go back later to see where I can remove words to make the sentences shorter.

Great job here, you write very well!


Home / Writing Feedback / Thoughts on my essay about private companies spending more money on research compared to governments
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳