Allowance gives motivation for children to do their work and it is less difficulty when they became adults.
Allowance gives motivation for children to do their work and it is less difficulty when they
becamebecome adults.
To me, it would be better to change the place the first sentence of your second paragraph and put it at the end of the first one. Then, in each paragraph, explain one by one.
It gives them to satisfy their needs.
I didn't understand what you meant, but I guess:
It (allowance) is given to them with the aim of satisfying their extra needs.
For instance, it allows them to buy their own necessary item like books.
For instance, it allows them to buy their own necessary
itemitems like books.
They demand for complete each activity in the home to pay for it.
They demand to pay for completing each activity in the home.
For example, the report says that children are spending money for smoking and also illegal activity.
For example, recent reports say that children are spending money for smoking and also illegal activities.
On the whole, you've mentioned good points, but it is not well-organized and the range of used vocabularies are not so vast.
Good luck