Unanswered [6] / Urgent [1]
 

Home / Writing Feedback /     

Television essay - "It is all about TV"


answers: 3
Jul 5, 2008, 04:07pm   #1
Just another short essay about Television in general.

-

It is all about TV

As television appeared in full colour the triumphal procession of movies began. Families started to have dinner in front of the TV, discussions in the family about what had been happening during ones day diminished. At one stroke TV became the centre of family life, it was attached great importance to have a nice TV with a big screen and a good sound system. I think people did not recognize how important their TVs were to them until they had broken down and people did not know anymore what to do with each other. TV had become a member of the family and not for just a few it was one of the most important ones.

In a gradual process a change of thinking took place in the mind of people. The society had recognized the negative aspects of TV and started to attach lesser value to them. At least they tried it. It will probably never be possible to imagine a life without TVs but I know many people today who do not even possess one. Well, most of them use to surf a lot abroad the Internet but that is another story.

Basically I think TV is something very useful. I'm thinking of great entertainment which blockbusters like StarWars have brought to me. I'm thinking also of the ability to watch the news all over to world and that in the language of my choice. But I would never commit the mistake to underestimate (no, not the force) the negative influence to children which TV may have. Consumed in moderation TV may help to develop children language skills in my opinion. But if a kid starts to cry because of a broken TV or if the child prefers watching TV instead of playing outside with other children then something went wrong.
Good evening :O)

Here are my suggestions:

"It Is All About TV

As television appeared in full colour the triumphal procession of movies began. Families started to have dinner in front of the TV, and family discussions about what happened during their day diminished. In one stroke TV became the centre of family life; great importance was attached to having a nice TV with a big screen and a good sound system. I think people did not recognize how important their TVs were to them until they had broken down and people did not know anymore what to do with each other. TV had become a member of the family and not for just a few it was one of the most important ones. This is a confusing statement; do you mean "...become a member of the family for many families; and it was not just any family member, it was one of the most important ones."

In a gradual process a change of thinking took place in the minds of people. The society began to recognized the negative aspects of TV and started to attach a lesser value to them; or at least they tried. It will probably never be possible to imagine a life without TVs but I know many people today who do not even possess one. Well, most of them use to surf the internet a lot, but that is another story.

Basically I think TV is something very useful. I'm thinking of great entertainment blockbusters like StarWars has brought to me. I'm thinking also of the ability to watch the news all over to world and in the language of my choice. I would never commit the mistake of underestimating the negative influence it can have on children . Consumed in moderation, it is my opinion that TV may help to develop children language skills; b ut if a kid starts to cry because of a broken TV or if the child prefers watching TV instead of playing outside with other children then something went wrong."

You've got a good rough draft here. Keep up the good work!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
Jul 6, 2008, 05:10am   #3
Hello again :) I really admire the effort you put in here.

This is a confusing statement; do you mean "...become a member of the family for many families; and it was not just any family member, it was one of the most important ones."

- That is what I tried to express, yes.
Good morning! You are very welcome.

OK, if that sounds good to you and it is what you meant, you can go ahead and use that line in your essay. Sometimes it is difficult to get our meaning into words, but we always do our best!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com



Home / Writing Feedback /

Thread closed ✓