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IELTS Essay - Technology vs Traditional Cultures


answers: 5
It is inevitable that as technology develops so traditional cultures must be lost. Technology and tradition are incompatible - you cannot have both together.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
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MY ESSAY >>
As technology develops, people give up their traditional way to accomplish some tasks for an easier and many times more effective way. Even in simple activities of the day we see new technological inventions all around. From the crack of dawn, when we wake up with our digital alarm and electronic agenda, reminding us our daily appointments, to the moment when the night falls by setting up our TV to get switched off just after we sleep.

In fact, technology has played a very important role in our lives by providing us a leverage to tackle the problems and uncomfortable situations that might appear, giving a boost in our business, life and relationships. In the past 20 years, I have seen some of those fabulous inventions helping people worldwide.
The mobile phone, for instance, has speeded up the communication throughout the world, allowing business to go across the borders, helping families to reach their relatives wherever they are.

On the other hand, some people say that this high volume of gadgets full filling the day of our children might create a barrier against some important values of our society, such as, interpersonal relationships, the ability and willing to deal with people and problems in person and a couple of more problems caused by this lack of traditional relationships.

From my point of view, technology has been very important in our lives and will move our planet upwards as long as we know how to use it on a good purpose.

Feb 17, 2010, 09:24pm   #3
people give up their traditional way to accomplish some tasks for an easier and many times more effective way

people perfer to accomplish some tasks by modern skills instead of traditional way.

Or people replace their traditional way of accomplishing their tasks for an easier and more effective way.

I think your first paragrah should not give out your definite opinion.
Don't make sentences any more complicated than they need to be:
give up their traditional ways of accomplishing tasks for an easier and many times more effective ways.

It seems that you must add one more sentence to that introduction paragraph. Make it a sentence that shows the main idea of the whole essay (Thesis statement)

...the ability and willingness to deal with people and problems in person. and a couple of more A variety of problems is caused by this lack of traditional relationships.

:-)
Feb 18, 2010, 11:24pm   #6
As technology develops, people give up their traditional way to accomplish some tasks for an easier and many times more effective way. Even in simple activities of the day we see new technological inventions all around. From the crack of dawn, when we wake up with our digital alarm and electronic agenda, reminding us our daily appointments, to the moment when the night falls by setting up our TV to get switched off just after we sleep.

comments: Your first paragraph sounds like you are giving your opinion. That should be your final paragraph. What is the main point you are trying to make? for your last sentence in that first paragraph.



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