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IELTS -TASK1- Changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000


answers: 3
TOPIC: - The Table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant. -


TASK

The tables shows how modes of travelling changed in England in 1985 and 2000.
The most significant feature is that car remained the main mode of travel after 15 years. The average distance travvelled by car had the most impressive increasing, about 1400 miles per year while individual mode of travel, such as bicycle and walking had a slighly decreasing.
In the other handm colletiv mode, like train and bus, suffered a gently growing i the 15 year-period.
The second trand is that English people are travelling almost 2000 miles more per year in 2000 and they are travelling to longer distances as it can be seen by the 50% increase on long distance bus and the 50% dropping on local bus.
overall, the mais mode in bith years is the car and then the train.

Hi guys, Could you help me please? Any suggestion and correction would be appreciated.
Thank you so much.... =)



  • TABLE
    TABLE
Feb 25, 2013, 06:12pm   #2
The tables shows[use a singular instead of plural] how modes of travelling changed in England in 1985 and 2000.
The most significant feature is that car remained the main mode of travel after 15 years. The average distance travvelled[traveled] by car had the most impressive increasing, about 1400 miles per year while individual mode of travel, such as bicycle and walking had a slighlty decreasing.
In the other handm colletive mode, like [a or an] train and bus, suffered a[to be] gently growing in the 15 year-period.
The second trend is that English people are travelling almost 2000 miles more per year in 2000[past tense; use the proper verb form] ,and they are travelling to longer distances as it can be seen by the 50% increase on long distance bus and the 50% dropping on local bus.
overall, the main mode in birth years is the car and then the train.

================================================================= =================================

The second trend is that English people are travelling almost 2000 miles more per year in 2000 and they are travelling to longer distances as it can be seen by the 50% increase on long distance bus and the 50% dropping on local bus.
Overall, the main mode in birth years is the car and then the train.

[this whole sentence is wordiness ; sentence has more than 20 words without punctuation, or more than 40 words altogether. try to break it up by using commas, semi-colons...etc]
Feb 28, 2013, 08:47am   #4
Good editing by gudxo :)
phanebandeira:
The most significant feature is that car remained the main mode of travel after for 15 years.

This is very good.................. You follow the right structure............... The most obvious observation should come first. :)
phanebandeira:
The average distance travvelled by car had the most impressive increasing, about 1400 miles per year while individual mode of travel, such as bicycle and walking had a slighly decreasing.
............... good comparison
phanebandeira:
n the other handm colletiv mode, like train and bus, suffered a gently growing i the 15 year-period.

phanebandeira:
overall, the mais mode in bith years is the car and then the train.

Hey................ what does this mean? Too many spelling errors ?
Overall, you follow a very good structure, but too many errors and grammar mistakes............... Also I wish if you expanded the comparison a bit more :)



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