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Summary and Personal Response "Hills Like White Elephants" grammar check


kinghippo 1 / 1  
Mar 18, 2009   #1
Hello

This is my first post, and I'm glad to find such a helpful community. I am fairly new to academic writing, and I could use all the help I can get. This essay is for a formal writing class, I am supposed to avoid all uses of conversational English.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

"Hills Like White Elephants"
Summary

The story begins with a description of the scenery that surrounds a tavern next to a train station in Spain. Outside the tavern, an American man and a woman named Jig, her nationality is never given, sit at a table and order a beer. As they sit outside and drink, the woman looks toward the hills and attempts to begin a conversation. She comments that the hills resemble "white elephants". The man seems uninterested and argues with her whether or not he has seen a "white elephant". She quickly changes the subject and asks the man to read her an advertisement that is painted on a curtain. He tells her that it is an alcoholic beverage named "Anis del Toro". Jig tells the man that she would like to try it and asks him to buy them a drink.

Once again, she attempts to start a conversation with the man. Jig tells the man a joke, and they begin to argue again. The man disagrees with Jig every time she speaks. She looks toward the hills again and admires their beauty. The man orders two more drinks and asks the woman about an operation. They are planning to have an abortion. The man wants her to have the abortion, although he tells her "if you don't want to you don't have to. I wouldn't have you do it if you didn't want to. But I know it's perfectly simple" (Hemingway 174). The woman seems to be angry, confused, and slightly inebriated. It seems that she is more concerned with their relationship than the life of her baby.

They continue to argue about the abortion. She furiously walks away from the table towards a field, and the man quickly follows her. Her emotions overwhelm her, and she exclaims, "And we could have all of this," she said. "And we could have every-thing and every day we make it more impossible" (Hemingway 175). She believes that the child will make their life unhappy, that the child will alter their way of life. The man calms her angry sentiment, and they return to their table and order two more beers. As they wait for the train to arrive, the woman sits at the table quietly and asks the man to stay quiet as well.

The waitress puts two beers on the table and tells them that the train will arrive soon. The man eagerly grabs their luggage and takes it to the station. As he walks across the station, he enters the bar to buy one last drink. He walks out of the bar and towards the table. Jig smiles at him and pretends that she is not miserable. It is undoubtedly visible that she is not happy. He ignores the obvious indication that she does not want the abortion, or he fails to realize that the only reason she is having the operation is because that is what he wants.

"Hills Like White Elephants"
A Personal Response

Even though "Hills Like White Elephants" was written in the 1920's, the topic of the story continues to be a controversial subject. The word abortion is never used throughout the story, but it is obvious early to the reader that a man is persuading a woman named Jig to undergo the procedure. It is apparent she does not want the operation, but the man ignores her subtle hints. He pretends to be concerned with her thoughts and tries to diminish the difficult operation she is about to undergo, but he is actually more concerned with his own happiness.

The location of the story also demonstrates how taboo the procedure is. This woman has left her town and traveled to Spain because of the stigma that is associated with abortion. The stigma is not as harsh as it once was, although the emotional aspects have not changed, fear of the abortion has not diminished, and the social ramifications can be traumatic. The guilt a woman experiences before and after the operation can potentially alter her personality forever. When a woman has an abortion, only her companion and possibly her closest friends and family will know of the abortion. She is afraid that if the public knows she had an abortion, she will be known as a whore or a baby killer.

As the story progressed, I began to sympathize for the woman. She seemed to have a low self-esteem and the man used her emotional weakness to his advantage. He knew that she was in love with him and that she would do anything to satisfy him. He promises her love and happiness while discussing the abortion; and when she tries to change the subject, he becomes angry with her and uninterested with her conversation. The man behaves like a police officer, coaxing her to admit to a crime that she is not guilty of, and assuring her freedom in exchange for an admission of guilt.

As I read the story, I began to think the man had a wife and that Jig did not know he was married. The story referred to the man as "The American", and Jig's nationality was never revealed. This led me to believe that the man traveled quite often and that he had impregnated a woman when he was away from home. I had the impression that this was not his first time he had taken a woman to an abortion clinic. I imagined that he would leave the abortion clinic while Jig had her abortion and she would return to an empty lobby and never see him again.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading "Hills Like White Elephants", despite the short length of the story. The profound human emotion Hemingway expressed in four brief pages exceeds what most authors are able to convey in hundreds of pages. Hemingway was able to write about a divisive topic that appealed to an extensive audience. Writing a story about abortion or any controversial subject can be a risky venture. Hemingway could have offended a segment of his audience if his story seemed biased towards one particular perspective. Even though the man was the villain of the story, it did not seem like it was written specifically for women. I believe this story can be enjoyed by men and women.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 19, 2009   #2
Under "Summary", I think you should write a succinct, powerful sentence about the story, naming the story and author, before going into, The story begins with a description of the scenery

The summary part ends very abruptly... does the story end that abruptly? I don't know the story. I think you should add a sentence to the end of that first part.

This really is a very good paper! I like the personal response better. I like the opening line, Even though "Hills Like White Elephants" was written in the 1920's, the topic of the story continues to be a controversial subject. That is a powerful line, because it gives info, makes a thesis statement, and captures the attention all at once!!

It's too bad he did not realize that she did not want to do it. Guys are jerks...

As for that grammar check you requested, I think it's fine!! Good job. :)
OP kinghippo 1 / 1  
Mar 19, 2009   #3
Thanks a lot for the suggestions. I agree that my summary could use a stronger introduction.

The story does end rather quickly, and the reader is left questioning if she had the abortion or not. I will try and incorporate that into the essay.

Thanks

Donno
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Mar 20, 2009   #4
At some point you might want to think about the two main meanings of the phrase "white elephant." It generally means "a possession unwanted by the owner but difficult to dispose of," but it comes from the idea that Indian kings would give their enemies white elephants as gifts. These animals could not be killed, for the white elephant was sacred, and their upkeep was very expensive, so it was a potentially ruinous gift. So, the original meaning of white elephant would have been something like "sacred creature."

Now, if you can tie the idea of hills into the notion of pregnancy, perhaps the title will take on a deeper meaning . . .


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