i am preparing for ielts, i am really worried about my writing, could u help me check for my mistakes? thanks so much
To some people studying the past has little value in the modern world. Why do you think it is important to do so?
I wholeheartedly disagree with this opinion that studying the past has no value in modern society, because the development nowadays is as result of the accumulation of experience and knowledge in the past. Learning the things that happened in the past brings us many benefits in our life.
First of all, studying the past helps people avoid repeat mistakes that happened in the past. As we know, during the war world I and II, millions of people died and war destroyed everything in the world. When people learn about war in the past, they can see clearly that there was no benefit from war, and it even damaged the life, which help people avoid repeating mistakes which done in the past. Furthermore, people can understand the importance of peace and treasure it.
Moreover, people can improve their living standards through inventions in many fields which are based on the knowledge and experience accumulated from the past. For example, people could have produced electricity if there had been no inventions of electron line of Pharaday. Based on this invent, people now can create electricity to improve the life quality.
Last but not least, learning the past help people make plan for the future better as well as be able to see and understand practice better. Take the global economy crisis as an example, people in around the world have recently confronted with depression in economic field. Thanks to economists who showed us that there is a economic cycle, and people can know that the world economy is now in the bottom of its cycle. Through understanding this cycle, people can perceive this issue and make conscious decisions, policies to cope with this problem as well as create plan for the economies in the future.
To sum up, it is really worth studying the past. Achievements which humankind have acquire in modern society are based on the accumulation of knowledge and experience from the past. Learning the past not only improve humankind's living standard, but also help people make smart plan for the future.
Your point is Okay, though I think you could revise some sentences like:
First of all, studying the past helps people avoid repeat mistakes that happened in the past.
First of all, studying the past helps people avoid repeating mistakes.
Moreover, people can improve their living standards through inventions in many fields which are based on the knowledge and experience accumulated from the past. For example, people could have produced electricity if there had been no inventions of electron line of Pharaday. Based on this invent, people now can create electricity to improve the life quality.''
The words use is a little bit redundant. This is just my personal opinion. Hope helped.
