Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


Students have to study a wide range of subjects, even the ones they don't like.


renga78 6 / 18  
Jan 27, 2011   #1
Teenagers in school nowadays have to study a wide range of subjects. Some people think it is a waste of time if pupils study subjects they don't like. What is your opinion?

Children are studying a wide range of subjects at schools. They are exposed to relatively new subjects like computers in addition to the traditional subjects like Mathematics, science etc. While some people feel that it is a waste of time to teach many subjects to students when they are comfortable with only a few subjects, I welcome the approach of introducing many subjects to students.

Students are going to schools to gain knowledge. The more the number of subjects that students are exposed to, the greater the knowledge gain would be. Expects say that adults usually under estimate the capabilities of bairns. Pupils can learn many new things when they are young. Likeliness of the subject purely depends on the methodologies which are used in teaching children. Pupil show more interest in learning, if the subject is amicable to their nature.

It is the responsibility of people who design the curriculum to students. Schools should find more innovative ways to teach pupils. Traditional methodologies like, class room teaching should be replaced with active-reactive style of teaching. Teachers should design models in which all the students will be actively involved. The complete participation from students while learning would enhance their learning spirits and interests in the subject.

Students are in a period of competing each other on everything. Learning many subjects at schools would create an edge to them when they come to compete in the real world. Many international forums are witnessing a wide array of white papers published by teenagers. This all count on students who are having a vast knowledge on subjects. Schools should go extra mile and show to the students about many avenues that are available to get more knowledge on varied subjects. By forming special interests groups, schools can guide students to network with many other students across the world through online networking. This will help students to share and gain knowledge on many subjects that they are exposed to.

In conclusion, children are playful in nature. Instead of teaching students in a traditional way, if schools find some innovative ways to teach students, many teenagers would express their interests in studying many subjects. Instead, if the schools let the students to learn only the subjects that they are interested to learn, many students will fall short to the expectation of this modern world. The expectancy of the modern world is ever increasing. If the students can not compete well with fellow students, they would definitely suffer in future. I assume schools very well know and thus they are teaching many subjects to their students. It should be welcomed. At the same time, schools should change from their monotonous teaching methodologies to innovative teaching methodologies.

I am preparing for IELTS. I would like to achieve at least band 7 in writing. please help me to achieve this.

Regards,
Raj
mcooper 1 / 2  
Jan 27, 2011   #2
Firstly, a lot of spelling errors or typos: second paragraph, second line you typed expects instead of experts, then bairns instead of brains then in the third paragraph it says schools should go a extra mile instead of the extra mile. I would suggest a program with spell check to get the rest or just go over it very carefully. Secondly, most of the sentences are fragments. Thirdly, what exactly is your thesis? You need to clearly define that in the beginning and make sure all your statements go back to the thesis. In the last paragraph you say "in conclusion, teenagers are playful" but you did not really make that clear earlier in the essay. Saying that teachers should provide more hands on learning styles does not really get across the point that teenagers are playful, do you know what I mean?

Hope that helps.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Feb 19, 2011   #3
Here is a great way to improve the first part.
Students are going to school to gain knowledge, and the more subjects to which students are exposed, the greater the knowledge gain will be.

Expects Experts say adults usually underestimate the capabilities of brains. bairns .---I made many changes for you here.

Students are in a period of competing with each other on everything.

Hey, this is quite interesting. It is a little obvious, but the prompt calls for some statements of the obvious. Yet, the real "counter-argument" is from people who would tell you that this modern age is an age of specialization and that to give students an edge we should enable them to focus on their special areas of interest and not waste time with the other subjects. I do not think that is true, but in your essay you should give a paragraph to address that argument and show why it is wrong.

:-)


Home / Writing Feedback / Students have to study a wide range of subjects, even the ones they don't like.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳