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Students learn just because of good marks.


vangue cloud 1 / 2 2  
May 25, 2015   #1
Marks are great motivation for children to study. Grades help students to estimate their abilities, compare to other friends, find the weakness and improve. But studying just because of good marks is toxic.The purpose of learning is expand your knowlegde about everything in life so that when you are grown up, you have good inventory to live well. If children study just because of good marks, they will do anything such as cheat in exams or search for answers on the Internet instead of doing their homework themselves. This can lead to laziness, knowledge gap and corruption. Gradually, they will be deceitful, acquisitive, lazy when they grow up. Marks are not the most important thing when studying. You have to clear out why you go to school everyday, then find out the best way to study better. Marks or grades are just motivation for you to do that.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
May 25, 2015   #2
- MarksGrades ( "Marks" will be initially hard for your readers to distinguish the subjects) are great motivation for children to study.

- GradesIt help students to estimate their abilities, compare to other friends, find the weakness and improve.

- The purpose of learning is to expand your knowledge...

Vangue, your essay is great, a little short though. I believe you can still expand your thoughts and ideas on this subject.
After all, it's a very interesting topic to tackle and a good one to start in enhancing your creative writing skills;
When you write, I would like to give you a few points to consider;

- sentence construction, make sure that your article has a logic, this will give a smooth flow of idea that will keep your readers interested with the article

- use of conversational english, the use of such will make your readers understand the article

- as much as you can, stick to the facts and figures, if the article is asking for your opinion, be objective.

That's it from me.

Keep writing

Cheers!!!
EF_Carol - / 145 39  
Jun 2, 2015   #3
Your essay is only one paragraph. It should have an intro, and two or three body paragraphs which each have a reason. Then a conclusion, to summarize the main points with a final thought.

...just because of good marks is toxic.

This is your thesis sentence. You should start the next paragraph soon after that wwith a focus on one idea of what's better than grades for motivation. You need to emphasize that grades are the students responsibility, not their peers, or parents, or teachers.

This can lead to laziness...

This is a good paragraph topic. Show the down side of going for grades.
I think you could say more; enough to convince the reader that that is toxic.

You should write an outline, for your essay. You have a good start with the basic idea, but you lack clear organization, and purpose. With some effort, this could really shape up! Just start by dividing up what you already have, into four to five paragraphs.

Good luck!

ef _carol


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