Unanswered [6] / Urgent [0]
 

Home / Writing Feedback /     

IELTS- student behaviour- causes and solutions


answers: 8
Question-
in many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

My essay-

Educating is a tedious task which needs meticulous efforts. Lately, there have been many incidents of student violence in educational institutions. A student is not the sole culprit in such cases. In fact, the circumstances and the society is also responsible for a young mind to go berserk.

Importantly, students face cut-throat competition in the modern world. The pressure of studies and the expectations enveloping a student's mind makes them vulnerable. Also, family pressure, like financial situations, problems with parents, disturbing and unfriendly family environment aggravates a student's problems. Moreover, lack of psychological and sociological understanding on part of school authorities creates new problems for students to face.

Nonetheless, bullying is a problem which many students face. Public embarassment makes them turn violent and vent their rage. According to many psychologists, violent movies, shows and videogames have a negative effect on student behaviour and their tender minds. All the mentioned causes and some other unknown reasons have a severe negative influence on students. Students tend to become either very inactive and scared or they turn very violent. For instance, my cousin studying in high school was recently scolded by his teacher. His friends were caught sniffing drugs, so he was also under suspicion. When the teacher's tried to ask him name of other students, he behaved in a very disrespecting and rude manner. Such behaviour is unsuitable in a school. Similarly, there have been cases of students carrying firearms and killing innocent people in schools of USA and many countries.

Tackling unruly student behaviour will require efforts from all- parents, society, school and the student themself. Proper counselling and guidance should be given to students to ease their inner turmoil. Parents should also have a friendly and understanding behaviour towards their child. They should refrain their child from watching too many violent movies or playing such games. In addition, proper surveillance systems should be in schools/colleges to not let students carry any firearm or guns. A proper guidance with love and understanding would be a better approach than punishing, threatening or disgracing students infront of their classmates.

Lastly, a student is like a clay which can be moulded in any shape. The society, parents and teachers should discuss problems of the students and the students should also complain freely about any problem they face. Young minds are very delicate and they need utmost proper care and guidance. Implementing the measures will make students curious for knowledge and motivate them them not to behave in an unruly manner.

Feb 9, 2011, 03:56pm   #4
Hi there, i am also preparing for academic ielts and my target is band 7. i wish u good luck for exam and if u can share ur experience and give me some tips that will be great as this will be my first attempt.
In this case, the word requires is better:
Educating is a tedious task which requires meticulous effort.

A student is not the sole culprit in such cases. In fact, the circumstances and the society is are also responsible for a young mind that goes berserk.
So it is like this:
They are responsible for a mind ---> to go that goes berserk.
They are responsible for a mind that goes...

One thing is...
Two things are...
One thing makes...
Two things make...
The pressure of studies and the expectations enveloping a student's mind makes make them vulnerable.

One thing aggravates...
Many things aggravate...
Also, family pressure, like financial situations, problems with parents, disturbing and unfriendly family environment aggravate a student's

Public embarrassment makes them

Lastly, a student is like a clay which can be moulded into any ..

:-)
@KEVIN
Hi Kevin,
thanks for your feedback..I will send a request to become a contributor in few minutes....do u think my writing skill is up to the required standards of IELTS to get a band 7 score at least????? there must be many people who write better than me...but thank god , IELTS is not based on relative marking method..... n thanks once again for helping me out...this "make" n "makes" thing has been confusing me a lot...but thanks for your feedback..now I understand how to use it. :)
Ajit

@KATE-Well no problem Kate...I will tell u my experience about it once I go n take the exam.....hoping for the best...I haven't targeted any band but still nothing below 6.5 is good I feel...Moreover IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON requires 7....so let's see what happens.....when are you gonna give the exam?
Feb 12, 2011, 06:50am   #7
Educating Education is a tedious task which requires/demands meticulous efforts. Lately, there have been many incidents of student violence in educational institutions.
Moreover, lack of psychological and sociological understanding on part of from school authorities creates new problems for students to face. All the mentioned causes and some other unknown reasons can have a severe negative influence on students. Students As a result, they tend to become either very inactive and scared or they turn very violent. For instance, my cousin, who is attending high school, was recently scolded by his teacher. When the teacher's tried to ask him name of other students, he behaved in a very disrespecting and rude manner. Tackling unruly student's behaviour will require efforts from all parents, society, school and the students as well. A proper guidance with love and understanding would be a better approach than punishing, threatening or disgracing students infront in front of their classmates.

Terrific essay!! =)
Feb 15, 2011, 11:47am   #9
ajit88rai:
I will send a request to become a contributor in few minutes....do u think my writing skill is up to the required standards of IELTS to get a band 7 score at least????? there must be many people who write better than me...but thank god , IELTS is not based on relative marking method.....

I see your question. I don't know much about the scoring for ielts, but maybe Kevin or someone else will know.

I'm glad you will be a contributor!

I see a great correction by Moon: needs is not the correct word there. It is like this:
Joe needs to read some essays in order to become a contributor.
Becoming a contributor needs requires some time, because you have to read some essays for people.

So... needs is a little different from requires. :-)



Home / Writing Feedback /

Thread closed ✓