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"Can stress cause diabetes?" - essay for Newcastle University Partners


Paul786 1 / -  
Jul 4, 2015   #1
I am currently writing an essay for Newcastle University Partners and it would be great if someone could advise me on how to write in a critical/intersting or engaging way. The evidence I have included feels as if it is speaking for its self and I would like to be able to express my own opinion better as well as form a good argument. Thank you. Below is what I have written so far!

Can stress cause diabetes?

Diabetes mellitus is the inability for an individual's body to control sugar levels. There are two main types, type 1 and type 2. Type 1 diabetes is the loss of insulin beta cells in the pancreas and as a result insulin deficiency develops. Whereas, Type 2 is when insulin resistance develops (World Health Organisation, 2015). There are many causes of diabetes, including obesity, lack of exercise and age. More recently, stress has been highlighted as a cause of diabetes. Organisations including the global diabetes community believes stress alters blood sugar levels and this has been the case since the 17th Century (Pouwer and Kupper, 2010). Many studies have been conducted since then and the evidence collected suggest stress can cause diabetes through factors such as work, sleeping, eating and emotions. Although, not all of the studies provide clear evidence, leaving scientists to suggest otherwise.

Emotional stress

A number of studies were conducted to suggest "emotional stress" is a cause of diabetes. Firstly, a group of swedish researchers collected a population sample consisting of life events from 67 patients aged 0-14. These life events were to do with difficult adaptation and poor family function before the individuals had diabetes. A stepwise logistic regression (model) highlighted bad events within the first two years of life increased the risk of Type 1 diabetes (Thernlund, 1995). A similar test was conducted where individuals life styles were assessed before "The Great East Japan Earthquake" and after the earthquake, to see if the traumatic event influenced diabetes or even worsened it for those who already had it. The results were as expected, emotional stress from the traumatic event triggered high blood sugar levels "from death of a loved one or guilt about being better off than others" (Kishimoto, 2012). Thus, suggesting emotional stress is certainly linked to diabetes.

Furthermore, an Australian study examined emotional stress, including stressful life events amongst a sample of 3,759 individuals. Glucose tests were conducted and they discovered emotional stress caused abnormal glucose metabolism in women but not men (Magliano, 2013). Since then, they advise healthcare professionals to take emotional stress into account as a development of diabetes. However, how can this study prove emotional stress as a "development of diabetes" for both male and female when the study has only proven it for women? Well a recent meta-analysis suggests women experience more emotional stress than men (Schmitt Ph.D, 2015). Therefore, if men experienced the same amount of emotional stress as women it could cause abnormal glucose metabolism and ultimately lead to diabetes as well.
eegii012 5 / 7 1  
Jul 7, 2015   #2
In general, pretty clear and good essay. Proficient use of signal words. Thumbs up for that.
But, I think you need final conclusion paragraph to end your essay.
Also, you could use "According to, As mentioned in, etc" to illustrate your used materials instead of ( )
I hope it'll help.
Good luck.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jul 7, 2015   #3
Emotional stress

- Firstly , a group of sS wedish researchers collected a population sample consisting of life events from 67 patients aged 0-14.

- These life events werehave something to do with difficult adaptation and poor family function before the individuals had diabetes.

- Thus, suggesting emotional stress is certainly linkedhas certain link to diabetes.

Well, Paul as you can see I only have very minor corrections.
I understand why you feel that your essay lack some critical characteristics or like an investigative journalism but
you don't have to, all you have to do is stick to the facts you gathered, be objective all the time and it's not necessary to use big words to draw attention from your readers. However, for your essay to engaging, use medical words, this is already in some content of you essay so there's nothing to worry.

I hope to help you in your future writing.

Keep writing

Cheers!!!


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