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About my strategy to overcome an obstacle in college or life


tay01 1 / -  
May 3, 2011   #1
Question;In this essay,you will relate the story of how you used a specific on course strategy to overcome an obstacle in college or life.use the one student story essay in the textbook as model of how to write your story...

My five years in high school, I always struggled in English class. My biggest problem was writing essays. I knew when I got to college it was going to be even harder. Sometimes, I would be in my English class and it feel like am learning Spanish, I couldn't understand anything my teacher was saying. My English class was on a Monday when that day came, I didn't feel like going to school, nothing. When it was time to do my homework for class, I would just slap up something just to show that I did my homework. I am always a D and C student in English. I always wanted A's but I didn't have any close friends willing to help me, and I was too independent to ask any of my other friends anyways.

In Professor DeRosa class I started learning about gaining strong independence. I also learn that it takes a strong person to be interdependent. Some people are interdependent, which means they rely on other people as well as themselves. While when you are independent, you rely on yourself. After learning so much from my Professor DeRosa class, I plan to take what I have learned and put it into action. Well, I am more open to asking questions in my English class and I also try to form a study group. I also schedule appointments to see my English teacher twice a week; in case I didn't I understand. After doing that I stared to see where my grades started getting better also started to be more prepared for class by reading my textbook chapter before class and going to class untime. I try to clear my mind, when I'm in class and take as much notes as I can. Now I am more independent I feel like am can accomplish any thing I put my mind to. These methods are something that I am going to use throughout my life from now on. A creator is what I have become I changed my beliefs and behaviors to create the best result possible in my life.
subhash_ghosh 11 / 29  
May 5, 2011   #2
Sometimes, I would be in my English class and it feel like am learning Spanish, I couldn't understand anything my teacher was saying. - Sometimes, I would be in my English class and it felt as though I was learning Spanish because I couldn't understand anything my teacher was saying.

My English class was on a Monday when that day came, I didn't feel like going to school, nothing. - Rewrite this, the meaning is not very clear.

I am always a D and C student in English. - "have been" is better here, also this isn't expressing clearly what you mean because of grammatical errors.

There are a few more grammatical errors, your flow is good, but you need to rectify those errors.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
May 5, 2011   #3
Thanks, Subhash Ghosh, great edit. Thanks for looking at an "Unanswered" essay.

Tay, even if you are not sure exactly what you want to do, make a goal right now so you can write about it. My best advice is like this: Near the end of the essay, show WHAT it is that motivates you. It has to be a meaningful goal you want to achieve in one of your careers (you can have more than one career, you know) :-))))

Here is another grammar error:
A creator is what I have become, and I changed my beliefs and behaviors to create the best result possible in my life.


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