Unanswered [10] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


Sports facilities should be adopted parallel with sports contests and health events


Krysten Mai 1 / -  
Oct 6, 2014   #1
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

My Essay

To date,with the ever-increasing developments in economy and living conditions, scraping a living is no longer of social concern, but maintaining/ leading a healthy life. Many people hold the conviction that providing sports facilities splendid is the best remedy, whilst others argue that it has insufficient impacts and call for other resolutions. Both the above view points have their plausible grounds, which will be examined in this essay.

One justification in favour of sport facilities is its effectivity. To illustrate, many people now have been successful in keeping their figures by going to sport or gymnastic centres to do exercise with the assistance of machines. Plainly, machines are sure to have been scientifically designed by health professionals,depending on ultimately biological basics, thereby guaranteeing the training outcome. As a consequence, its effectiveness turns out to be a stimuli,ugreing us to keep up with good work.To put it simply, sport facilities will boost the upshot due to its scientific model.

On the other hand, the opponents may debate, taking factual statics results as reason their reason. Specifically, many researches conducted lately indicate that the majority of those who play sports with facilities incline to give up halfway because of lacking of real enthusiasm. To explain,using sports machines indoors will leave out considerable benefits, namely the enjoyment of gathering with other people and of breathing fresh air, thus deteriorating our enthusiasm to carry on. On the basis of this fact, it is felt that facilities can not serve as the only means to improve public health by itself.

Although the above-mentioned facts reveal plausible evidences for both sides, I am of the opinion that the prevalent method of using machines to cultivate public health is not utterly beneficial. This is because there are many people who can only find pleasure when playing outdoors or don't feel like taking up any sports. Therefore,we should implement different methods alongside with increasing sports facilities to achieve the optimum result. In my view, we should hold conferences on health to raise community's awareness as well as launching sports competitions or Olympics with amply rewards as an incentive for people to play sport.

In the light of the above-mentioned discussions, sports facilities can do people good but it should not be adopted alone. Parallel with increaing those, other methods such as holding sports contests and health events can be applied.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Oct 6, 2014   #2
To date,with the ever-increasing developments in economy and living conditions, scraping a living is no longer of social concern, but maintaining/ leading a healthy life. Many people hold the conviction that providing sports facilities splendid is the best remedy, whilst others argue that it has insufficient impacts and call for other resolutions. Both the above view points have their plausible grounds, which will be examined in this essay.

Kyrsten,excellent introduction even though you forgot to present your point of view. As you know the essay asks you to discuss both points of view and then offer your opiion. It is the lack of introduction to your point of view that weakened your introduction. Fix the introduction by including your point of view.

- One justification in favour of sport facilities is its effectivity. To illustrate, many people now have been successful in keeping their figures by going to sport or gymnastic centres to do exercise with the assistance of machines. Plainly, machines are sure to have been scientifically designed by health professionals,depending on ultimately biological basics, thereby guaranteeing the training outcome. As a consequence, its effectiveness turns out to be a stimuli,ugreing us to keep up with good work.To put it simply, sport facilities will boost the upshot due to its scientific model.

- Good argument. However, you speak of facilities where people pay to use machines. These are not sports facilities but work out facilities. A work out is different from a sports activity. Refer instead to the public swimming pools, free use basketball courts, university track and field, or sports clubs where people pay to participate in sports. That is more in line with your essay prompt.

On the other hand, the opponents may debate, taking factual statics results as reason their reason. Specifically, many researches conducted lately indicate that the majority of those who play sports with facilities incline to give up halfway because of lacking of real enthusiasm. To explain,using sports machines indoors will leave out considerable benefits, namely the enjoyment of gathering with other people and of breathing fresh air, thus deteriorating our enthusiasm to carry on. On the basis of this fact, it is felt that facilities can not serve as the only means to improve public health by itself.

- Your argument is flawed. Majority of the sports facilities have outdoor settings because of the space required to play the sport. Also, those who participate in the sports activities are usually sports minded people who enjoy the said activity on a regular basis. Engaging in sports costs money so not everyone can engage in it. Re-evaluate your reasoning in this paragraph and improve upon it.

Although the above-mentioned facts reveal plausible evidences for both sides, I am of the opinion that the prevalent method of using machines to cultivate public health is not utterly beneficial. This is because there are many people who can only find pleasure when playing outdoors or don't feel like taking up any sports. Therefore,we should implement different methods alongside with increasing sports facilities to achieve the optimum result. In my view, we should hold conferences on health to raise community's awareness as well as launching sports competitions or Olympics with amply rewards as an incentive for people to play sport.

- Instead of suggesting a conference, offer suggestions instead as to how public health can be better improved without creating more sports facilities.

In the light of the above-mentioned discussions, sports facilities can do people good but it should not be adopted alone. Parallel with increaing those, other methods such as holding sports contests and health events can be applied.

- This is a good opening to your closing statement. Now beef it up by restating the prompt, giving a summary run-down, and repeating your stand.


Home / Writing Feedback / Sports facilities should be adopted parallel with sports contests and health events
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳