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Spanking kids isn't all good


srtheesa 2 / 2  
Jun 20, 2012   #1
Friends,I'm still struggling to understand the structure of the American essay system.I don't know what went wrong in this essay.I wrote this essay.please help me to improve my writting skills.

Spanking children has been a practice for many centuries.Infact,it is hard to imagine a time when children were not punished for antisocial behavior.However, for all the good spanking may do,there are harmful results from this practice as well.Some of the harmful side effects of physical punishment can be violence,emotionally stress and misunderstanding.

First,violence is the most harmful effect of this action.It urges the children to do bad things against their parents.Parents should understand their child's condition and try to figure out what the problem is.If it is continousely happens,children hate their parents as well as their teachers too.

Second,this type of actions may lead the children to emotionally stressed and tired.The fact is they can't really behave normal even at home.

Third,misunderstanding is also another effect of spanking kids.They built bad images on particular people,those they hate.this may caused to become an antisocial in the society.

They can't faces the society with courage and trust.

To sumup,if we want to spanking them,first we should talk with them in abetter way.It would be a better way to communicate and understand them throughly.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Jun 20, 2012   #2
Spanking children has been a practice for many centuries.---Always leave a space between sentences. Actually you must leave a space between all punctuation marks and the next word.

In fact,---in fact is two words.--- it is hard to imagine a time when children were not punished for antisocial behavior. However , for all the good spanking may do, there are harmful results from this practice as well.

Some of the harmful side effects of physical punishment can be violence, emotionally stress and misunderstanding.---Do you mean it may cause children to grow up to be violent? If so, I agree!

First, v iolence is the most harmful effect

If it is continuously happening , children may grow to hate their parents as well as their teachers too .

Second,this type of actions may lead the children to becoming emotionally stressed and tired.

They can't faces the society with courage and trust.---This is so true, they may remain fearful all their lives.

To sum up , if we want to spanking them, f irst we should talk with them in a better way.

It would be a better way to communicate and understand them thoroughly .

:)
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Jun 21, 2012   #3
Spanking children has been a practice for many centuries. Infact,it is hard to imagine a time when children were not punished for antisocial behavior . I have to say, you might consider brushing up your opening statement a bit, and remember, after every period (.) comes a space..

First,violence is the most harmful effect of this action.It urges the children to do bad things against their parents.Parents should understand their child's condition and try to figure out what the problem is.If it is continousely happens,children hate their parents as well as their teachers too...good point...discipline by means of violence and tantrums screams hypocrisy, doesn't it??

Second,this type ofthese actions may lead the children to emotionally stressed and tired lives.The fact is they can't really behave normal even at home.

Ok, In my opinion, you do not need to emphasize things like "second and third". Also, your closing statement is weak and confusing. I urge you to stick to one opinion or another...spanking and logic/reason do not seem to go hand in hand. Otherwise, good work!!


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