Your essay is a good essay, but I have some suggestions that you can find them below:
From the begging humankind needs a place as a shelter for accommodating himself and his family. Nowadays in modern human societies this place is defined as a house or apartment. To some living in house is preferable, whereas others believe in living in apartment.
Write your opinion at the end of the introduction.
in the human society
In the 21st
th century inhabitable lands should be the most precious property, so that people could fight for that
stages floor buildings
get share the land with each other share
in the same familySecond paragraph: You talked about "losing privacy in apartments", but you did not use appropriate supporting statements. What things may influence the privacy of people in apartments? What factors should be considered in this concern? You can write an example to apparently convey your idea. This example can be one of your personal experiences.
In contrast, most of the people care about their privacy and independency. Life is too short, in fact everyone likes to reside in a place that he or she feels safe in terms of being in privet enclosure. Houses are the best definition of such a preferable place for living. There is no unwanted invading entrance to house. People would admire that because of being owner of one key that should be managed as their heart desire towards their dreams of being in the protected area.
this paragraph and the previous one are revolving around the same issue that is "privacy". In other words, you are repeating yourself in the third paragraph of the essay.
Moreover, architectures could design houses in many aspect of view
what do you mean? "in many aspect of view" is a little odd to me.
To sum up, (at the beginning of the conclusion you should reword the thesis statement and then write a clincher.)in houses most of the people can get their privacy and independency
as well. Houses' designs should give spacious and desirable aspect so that it deserves to attempt in any cost live in a house instead of an apartment.
Hope the comments help