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'spacious and desirable' - Apartment is better than a house


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Oct 28, 2012, 03:08pm   #
Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment.

From the begging humankind needs a place as a shelter for accommodating himself and his family. Nowadays in modern human societies this place is defined as a house or apartment. To some living in house is preferable, whereas others believe in living in apartment.
One of the top ten problems in human society is living in apartment and ignoring privacy as a main factor of being intelligent creature in the world. In 21th century land should be the most precious property, so that people could fight for that. Apartments are the solutions of modernity. Multi-stages building help people to get the land share, but they lose their privacy and independency. Apartment living gets many intrusions. As a matter of fact people do not have matching common any more even in same family, so that living in such place without organization and legislation is impossible.
In contrast, most of the people care about their privacy and independency. Life is too short, in fact everyone likes to reside in a place that he or she feels safe in terms of being in privet enclosure. Houses are the best definition of such a preferable place for living. There is no unwanted invading entrance to house. People would admire that because of being owner of one key that should be managed as their heart desire towards their dreams of being in the protected area.
Moreover, architectures could design houses in many aspect of view. Being spacious gives the advantage to the house for comfortable and luxurious life. Family does not have to oblige themselves to live in some deck since they have enough area for making the best and eye catch lay-out of their house such as living room, bedrooms, kitchen, and bathroom and outside area for intense garage, garden and yard.
To sum up, in houses most of the people can get their privacy and independency as well. Houses design should give spacious and desirable aspect so that it deserves to attempt in any cost live in house instead of apartment.

Oct 28, 2012, 03:49pm   #
Your essay is a good essay, but I have some suggestions that you can find them below:

monaalvand:
From the begging humankind needs a place as a shelter for accommodating himself and his family. Nowadays in modern human societies this place is defined as a house or apartment. To some living in house is preferable, whereas others believe in living in apartment.

Write your opinion at the end of the introduction.
monaalvand:
in the human society


monaalvand:
In the 21stth century inhabitable lands should be the most precious property, so that people could fight for that

monaalvand:
Multi-stages floor buildings

monaalvand:
people to get share the land with each other share

monaalvand:
in the same family


Second paragraph: You talked about "losing privacy in apartments", but you did not use appropriate supporting statements. What things may influence the privacy of people in apartments? What factors should be considered in this concern? You can write an example to apparently convey your idea. This example can be one of your personal experiences.
monaalvand:
In contrast, most of the people care about their privacy and independency. Life is too short, in fact everyone likes to reside in a place that he or she feels safe in terms of being in privet enclosure. Houses are the best definition of such a preferable place for living. There is no unwanted invading entrance to house. People would admire that because of being owner of one key that should be managed as their heart desire towards their dreams of being in the protected area.

this paragraph and the previous one are revolving around the same issue that is "privacy". In other words, you are repeating yourself in the third paragraph of the essay.
monaalvand:
Moreover, architectures could design houses in many aspect of view

what do you mean? "in many aspect of view" is a little odd to me.
monaalvand:
To sum up, (at the beginning of the conclusion you should reword the thesis statement and then write a clincher.)in houses most of the people can get their privacy and independency as well. Houses' designs should give spacious and desirable aspect so that it deserves to attempt in any cost live in a house instead of an apartment.


Hope the comments help
Regards
Ahmad
Oct 30, 2012, 10:49pm   #
I agree with the suggestions the prior contributor suggested, as well as I would advise for you to re-read your essay carefully as there are several grammar errors, very minor, that affect the flow of your essay. Other than that its a fairly good one.



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