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IELTS: Space Exploration, money should be spent on? 'few compulsory drawbacks'


winniesun 9 / 19  
Jul 7, 2011   #1
The money currently being spent on space exploration could be better spend on people in the Third World countries do you agree or disagree?

As the competition between developed countries has become frequent, they try to build a reputation by means of exploration into the space. In recent years, there arises as a controversial issue of spending that astronomical cost should be on the projects outside the world or places closer to home. There does seem to me that such investment should be taken into account in concerned with space exploration.

It is not rare to see the reluctant numbers of deprived countries in which our human kind suffer from hunger and other varieties of diseases that should be taken drastic action for their welfare. Moreover, natural disasters become alarming topics which usually aggravate consequences that itself was. Therefore, it seems to be reasonable that we should aware of transforming our community on the earth to a better place first.

On the other side of the coin, searching a new territory for our future make sense for some extent. As evidence of this, global warming, diverse pollutions and natural disaster illustrate our habitant land as a demolished world. What if that risk will be increased in the near future? Perhaps, transit to our neighbor planets may be the best solution.

On top of that, some of the measure to facilitate the living of astronauts could also contribute to our society from a different perspective. Some expects narrate that the technological innovation like telemedicine, which is originally purpose for treating astronauts in space with rapid progress, has been applied to communicate doctors with patients in inaccessible part of the world. What is more, water sterilization systems on space shuttle can help to filter contaminated water at the regions destroyed by floods and earthquakes.

All in all, from my point of view, the rampant technologies like space exploration can higher advancement of life quality, although there may be a few compulsory drawbacks. As far as space exploration concerned, nobody can utterly deny the feasible positive outcomes that can improve quality of life on our planet.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jul 9, 2011   #2
As the competition between developed countries has become frequent, they try to build a reputation by means of exploration into the space. -----Great sentence!

In recent years, there arises as a controversial issue of whether spending that...

It is not rare to see the reluctant numbers of deprived countries in which our human kind suffer from hunger and other varieties of diseases. that should be taken drastic action for their welfare . --------I think your sentences are too long. Your English is great, but when you make a long sentence you are likely to have a small error. In speech and in writing, use short sentences. Readers respond better to short sentences. We like brevity. :-)

Some expects narrate explain that the technological innovations like telemedicine, which was originally intended for treating astronauts in space with rapid progress, has been applied to enable doctors to communicate with patients in inaccessible parts of the world.

:-) Keep practicing! You have deep understanding of English, but a few mistakes still creep into the essay.


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