Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


"As you sow so shall you reap" - children as members of society (parents role)


kapilsatija 1 / 1  
May 7, 2012   #1
As said by the first prime minister of India Mr Jawahar Lal Nehru "Today's children are our tomorrow's future" and hence we must not forget innocent child needs the supporting hand right guide line. This can be done by both by the parents and school.

Family is the first school for the children. Child are nothing but the seeds and if provided proper environment then we can expect the healthy and strong tree which will not fall under the tough time as well. In order to assist the child to develop the social skills parents must spend adequate time with their children and not only this children must not be forced to study throughout the day but parents must assist their children in time management so that they can also develop the same technique and hence they can spare out the time for the other activities as well. Children should be allowed to frolic with other children in their leisure time so that he/she can develop the complete personality. Children must be involved under certain games which require the team sprit. For instance football, cricket and hockey etc-2 so that children can learn the skill of communication with each other and not only this it will assist the children in developing the leader ship skills as well. Till the time child does not enter the school they remain majorly influenced by their family members, once the school starts then they majorly get influenced by the association they have in their school. The statement is very well true in our societies that the moral character, behavior and values of the children reflect the family background of the child.

I must say school is the second place for imparting the variety of skills among the children. Now a days due to the cut throat competition schools are more focused in imparting the education which can facilitate the children in developing the career at their later stage and due to this schools are keeping the social values at the back seat and hence today we are producing the machines which can completely manage the responsibilities in terms of financial aspect but some how we lack social and human values. So I must say parent should not forget their responsibilities once their child enters the school by assuming that it will now be the responsibility of the school to develop the complete personality.

Finally to sum up, as the proverb indicates "As you sow so shall you reap" so if we are looking forward for the better society then i must say better societies are created by the wise human being which are complete in their personality so parents are the one who are majorly responsible for developing the complete personality by grooming them and keeping an eye on them in a proper way.
ana_p 27 / 81  
May 7, 2012   #2
Hi,

I like your thoughts and starting. I think your essay is very good just you need to take care while writing so that you can avoid small mistakes like as follow:

This can be done by both by the parents and school.
In order to assist the child to develop the social skills parents must spend adequate time with their children.and not only this children must not be forced to study throughout the day but parents must assist their children in time management so that they can also develop the same technique and hence they can spare out the time for the other activities as well. ( Just suggestion: I think this sentence is too long and you have mixed many ideas in a single sentence you can explain the same in small and short sentences)

Children must be involved under certainin games which require the team spritspirit .

Overall its a perfect essay.

Thanks,

Ana.
OP kapilsatija 1 / 1  
May 7, 2012   #3
Thanks Ana.

How much band (in IELTS) do you think so this type of essay can fetch me. What do you think the composition and structure of essay should be so that a person can score band 8 in IELTS. Do you know any other forum as well where in i can get some suggestion regarding the Listening, Reading and Speaking module of IELTS or i can practice some thing online.
ana_p 27 / 81  
May 8, 2012   #4
Hi kapilsatija,

I am sorry dear I don't think that I will be able to grade it. I am also preparing for both TOEFL and IELTS. This one is only I found and I like it. I did not find any other forum like this. I am also searching for listening, speaking and reading. If you don't mind can we practice together online for speaking?

Thanks,

Ana.


Home / Writing Feedback / "As you sow so shall you reap" - children as members of society (parents role)
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳