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IELTS writing-There are social and medical problems associated with the use of mobile


answers: 2
Aug 15, 2011, 09:06am   #1
Topic:
There are social and medical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What are these problems? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits brought by mobile phones?

My essay:
It is quite common to see that almost everyone owns one mobile phone these days. And it becomes the most popular communication method to use a cell phone. Yet with time going on, a range of problems led by mobile phones appear gradually.

A frequent use of mobile phones may raise negative effects on our health. First of all, obviously the radio of cell phones harms us every time. Although many cell phone producers announce that the radio of their cell phones is light and safe, we should still pay much attention on it for we use it too frequently, especially for someone like businessman. As well as this, using cell phones too much may lead people lazy. People can complete almost everything they want to do by mobile phones. For instance, they can have an enjoyable talking with their friends who live in another part of the earth, and they also can hold a meeting, finish a trade or even go shopping using only one mobile phone. However, this convenient way usually make people lazy. They may stay home everyday, which has a very bad influence on their health. Furthermore, it is less fun that we could have using cell phones than the normal method. Specifically, it seems impossible to enjoy a phone meeting or a phone shopping just listening to the sound only. Communications may become boring and even unpleasant with this single way.

On the other hand, we benefit so much from mobile phones indeed. Using cell phones boosts the studying and working efficiency dramatically. Also, we can exchange the newest information the first time. Admittedly, mobile phones play an increasing important role in our daily life.

In conclusion, there are various merits by using a cell phone. However, we cannot deny that the harm of it also cannot ignore. Therefore, we should limit the frequency of use in daily life, and make mobile phones become an effective and green assistant.

PS: I'll take the IELTS test next Saturday. However, my writing is so poor. If you could kind enough to give me some advice to improve my writing ability, I would really appreciate it. Thank you very much!

Aug 15, 2011, 10:29am   #2
And It has become the most popular communication method, using a cell phone.

Yet as time goes on, a range of problems led by mobile phones appear gradually.

The frequent use of mobile phones may cause negative effects on our health.

First of all,---Oh, thank you for not saying 'firstly'!--- obviously the radio of cell phones harms us. every time.

... we should still pay much attention to it for we use it too frequently, especially for someone like a businessman.

As well as this, using cell phones too much may make people lazy.

People can complete almost everything they want to do by using mobile phones.

For instance, they can have an enjoyable time talking with their friends who live in another part of the world, and they can also hold a meeting, finish ...

They may stay home every day,---'Every day' here, as in most cases, is two words.---which has a very bad influence on their health.

Specifically, it seems impossible to enjoy a phone meeting or a phone shopping trip, just listening to the sound. only.

Also, we can exchange the newest information the first time really fast. Admittedly, mobile phones play an increasing important role in our daily life.

In conclusion, there are various merits of using a cell phone. However, we cannot deny or ignore the harm of it.

I have heard recently that frequent use of cell phones may cause brain cancer...hopefully, this is not true, as I use mine quite often! Have fun in school and good luck!

:)
Aug 19, 2011, 10:22am   #3
Thank you so much, Susan.
I still need do lots of things to improve my writing ability.
By the way, we should reduce the frequency of using cell phones. :)



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