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'My sister is my teacher' - a descriptive paragraph about a person


answers: 2
Oct 12, 2011, 10:32pm   #
I am assigned to write a descriptive paragraph about a person in my life that is very important. This is what i have so far. If you could help me edit it that would be great. I am open to all suggestions. Thank you so much!


Everyone has a family, but only few are lucky to have an inspiring, strong and caring sister like mine. My sister's name is Jay Kim. She is 16 years old and currently isn't living with me. The reason being that she is doing an advanced academic program called "International Baccalaureate (short for IB)" and they do not provide the program in this area. My sister lives with a family friend in Sherwood Park. She works her brain off to meet deadlines, constantly produce new ideas, take care of her own needs, and on top of that, she tries to fit time in her busy schedule every night to call or text us. For IB, Jay is sacrificing so much to be the best that she can be. That's exactly what she is. Although IB doesn't define her, what she loves about it is that it's a challenge for her.
Jay is everything that a little sister would have wanted. She's understanding, intelligent, funny, and charismatic. Jay brings a solution to every situation. My sister is my teacher. She guides me through life. Jay tells me what things are to be avoided and what things are going to benefit you. She is a beauty. Jay is true to everyone and herself.I love my sister and no one can do anything to make me detached to her. We are sisters and I hope that someday I can care for her as she has cared for me.

Oct 13, 2011, 02:04am   #
Hi, maybe i can help out a bit.

Everyone has a family, but only few are lucky to have an inspiring, strong and caring sister like mine. My sister's name is Jay Kim. She is 16 years old and currently isn't in writing, especially formal writing, try to avoid using contraction such as doesn't, isn't etc.living with me. The reason being that she is doing an advanced academic program called "International Baccalaureate (short for IB)" and they do not provide the program in this area. My sisteris currently staying lives with a family friend her friend's familyin Sherwood Park.She works her brain off [/font]so hard[font#FF0000] to meet deadlines, constantly produce new ideas, take care of her own needs, and on top of that, she tries to fit time in her busy schedule every night to call or text us. For IB, Jay is sacrificing has sacrifiedso much to be the best. That's exactly whatwho she is. Although IB doesn't define her, what she loves about it is that it's a challenge for her. the challenge that she has to face.
Jay ishas everything that a little sister would have haswanted. She's understanding, intelligent, funny, and charismatic. Jay brings solution to every problem regardless the situation. My sister is my teacher. She guides me through mylife. Jay always advises and enlightens me on what to be avoided and what would bring benefits to methings are going to benefit you. She is a beauty. Jay is truesincere to everyone and herself.I love my sister and no one can do anything to make me detached to herseperate us or ruin our relationship. We are sisters and I hope that someday I can take goodcare forof her as she has cared for me.

Lee



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