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'My sister and I' - Comparison/Contrast essay.


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I am new to this website, so I hope I am doing this right! I have never been good at writing papers.. so I'm hoping I can get some tips on what I need to change or do to make a good grade on this essay. My professor told us to write a comparison/contrast paper. It has to be 500 words about two people. She wanted us to focus on apperance, personality, and hobbies. Thanks for the help in advance!

My sister and I

Most siblings have a lot in common, but my older sister and I are very different from each other. We look so much alike that people often mistake us as twins. Once people actually get to know us they realize that we are very different. We may look a like, but that's one of the few things we have in common.
We have many similarities in our appearance. My sister and I are both very short; we actually are the same exact height. We both have long brown hair, bright blue eyes, and freckles head to toe. We have always been small figured and wear the same sizes in clothes. We both love wearing t-shirts, shorts, and flip-flops. This was a problem growing up, because we would steal each other's clothes. Thankfully my sister's feet are bigger than mine, so she couldn't steal my shoes. Our shoe size is probably the only difference in our appearances.

SEE BELOW

My sister and I

Most siblings have a lot of things in common, [should say somethings in general to explain 'a lot of things] but However, my older sister and I are very different from each other although we look so much alike that many people often mistake us as twins. Once people actually get to know us they realize that we are very different in personalities and hobbies. We may look a like, but that's one of the few things we have in common. here is no need to repeated
As we are twins, we have many similarities in our appearances. My sister and I are both very short ; we actually are and have the same exact height. Furthermore, we both have long brown hair, bright blue eyes, and freckles head to toe. We have always been small figured and [We also wear the same sizes in clothes because of our small figures]. Moreover, our styles of fashion are also similar, including We both love wearing t-shirts, shorts, and flip-flops. This similar appearances of us was a problem growing up, because we would steal each others' clothes. However, thankfully my sister's feet are bigger than mine, so she couldn't steal my shoes. Our shoe size is probably the only difference in our appearances.
Even though most of our appearances are similar, our personalities are completely opposite. My sister is a very hyper person, but I'm a calm and laid-back person. I love planning and organizing, but my sister never plans anything and just goes with the flow. She is very selfish and rarely puts others before herself. I have a really big heart and always put others first. She is a very social person and loves to talk; however, I have never been a talkative person and I like to keep to myself. She has a really bad temper and gets angry easily. It takes a lot to get me mad and I'm a very patient person. I am always in a good mood, but my sister is rarely in good mood. I'm not a very picky person and I don't care if I don't get my way. My sister always has to have her way, or she pitches a fit until she does. She is always stubborn and makes situations so difficult. I'm not stubborn at all and I try to do whatever is easiest for everyone. I love animals and children more than anything! My sister can't stand animals and doesn't plan on having children.
Finally, our hobbies are very different. I love being active and playing sports because sports were a big part of my life. In high school I was a cheerleader and a soccer player. I attended every baseball, basketball, and football game. Sports were a big part of my life. Nevertheless, my sister has never played a sport in her entire life. She loves to sleep and be lazy. If it requires work, then she wants no part of it. I love to hunt, fish, and be outdoors; however, my sister doesn't like to get dirty or be outside. Her favorite hobby is shopping and watching television. I can't stand to shop or be cooped up inside. She loves spending money and I rarely spend any money. My sister has always been a girlie girl and I have always been a tomboy.
Many siblings that have the same parents look a lot alike. Siblings that are raised the same usually share a lot in common. My sister and I may look like twins, but we actually have little in common. I can't imagine having a sister who is less like me then she is. It's hard to understand how we ended up so different, but were raised the same exact way. It just goes to show that not all siblings have similarities.

Comments:
- Ideas are excellent.
- Grammar is excellent
- Idea links should be improved (the links mean cohesion and coherence)
- Outline: you should focus on how to organize and support ideas. (which on is the main ideas and how to support accurately)

Anyway, now i know about you as well as your sister.
Good Luck :))
Thank you sooo much for your help! You have no idea how much I appreciate it. I was a little confused about ideas and outline needs improvement? can you explain in more detail? or give an example. I changed the essay a little. Here it is ... let me know what you think.

My sister and I

Most siblings have a lot of things in common, like the same interests. However, my older sister and I are very different from each other, although many people often mistake us as twins. Once people actually get to know us they realize that we are very different in personalities and hobbies. I have often wondered how we ended up so different. We may look a like, but that's one of the only things we have in common.
We have many similarities in our appearances. My sister and I are both very short; and have the same exact height. Furthermore, we both have brown hair, blue eyes, and freckles head to toe. Our round faces are almost identical. We also wear the same sizes in clothes because of our small figures. Moreover, our styles of fashion are also similar, including t-shirts, shorts, and flip-flops. This similar appearance was a problem growing up, because we would steal each other's clothes. Our tiny hands and chubby feet look exactly alike. However, thankfully my sister's feet are a little bigger than mine, so she couldn't steal my shoes. Our shoe size is probably the only difference in our appearances.
Even though most of our appearances are similar, our personalities are completely opposite. My sister is a very hyper person, but I'm a calm and laid-back person. I love planning and organizing, but my sister never plans anything and just goes with the flow. She is very selfish and rarely puts others before herself. I have a really big heart and always put others before myself. She is a very social person and loves to talk; however, I have never been a talkative person and I like to keep to myself. She has a really bad temper and gets angry easily. It takes a lot to get me mad and I'm a very patient person. I'm always in a good mood, but my sister is rarely in good mood. I'm not a very picky person and I don't care if I don't get my way; however, my sister always has to have her way. She is always stubborn and makes situations so difficult for everyone else. I'm not stubborn at all and I try to do whatever is easiest for everyone. I love animals and children more than anything! My sister can't stand animals and doesn't plan on having children.
Finally, our hobbies are very different. I love being active and playing sports. In high school I was a cheerleader and a soccer player. I attended every baseball, basketball, and football game. Sports were a big part of my life. Nevertheless, my sister has never played a sport in her entire life. She loves to sleep and be lazy. If it requires work, then she wants no part of it. I love to hunt, fish, and be outdoors; however, my sister doesn't like to get dirty or be outside. Her favorite hobbies are shopping and watching television. I can't stand to shop or be cooped up inside. She loves spending money and I rarely spend any money. My sister has always been a girlie girl and I have always been a tomboy.
Many siblings that have the same parents look a lot alike. Siblings that are raised the same usually share a lot in common. My sister and I may look like twins, but we actually have little in common. I can't imagine having a sister who is less like me then she is. It's hard to understand how we ended up so different, but were raised the same exact way. It just goes to show that not all siblings have similarities.
Jun 21, 2012, 03:37am   #
Hi,

Most siblings have a lot of things in common, like ranging from appearance to personality the same interests. However, there are many differences between me and my older sister in various facets my older sister and I are very different from each other, although even though many people often mistake us as twins. Once people actually get to know us they realize that we are very different in personalities and hobbies (do not repeat the ideas. In the last two sentences you mentioned this and it is not necessary to write the issue again). I have often wondered how we ended up so different. We may look a like resemble in appearance , but that's one of the only things we have in common (use synonym. In addition, you could write a question at the last part of the introduction and then answer to the question in the body. For instance, u can say:" The reasons for such differences between two sisters had always been a mysterious fact for me and I could not find an apparent answer for this question that "Why are we different in personality, intrests, and many different aspects of life?")

Suggestion: U should open the introduction with an interesting motivator. I think, it would be better to open the first paragraph with a situation or an event at which you find yourself too different from your sister. People like stories, so telling a short story at the beginning may be attractive for readers.

Regards
Ahmad
Your welcome,
- I mean idea links as the way to connect among your main ideas and support them logically and accurately (by example or explain to clarify) - sometimes using sentence or phrase connector, such as, however, although, even though, as a result, and so on. However, sometimes using logic links, such as: Cause and effect, problem and solution. something like that.

- Outline means: the way to organize what idea should write first and which one should follow.
For example, He is dependable (the main idea), as he is highly respected by his co-workers for his willingness to assist anyone whenever they need him(idea support).
- Outline should divide like:
+ Introduction
+ Body1
+ Body2
+ conclusion (Body1+Body2)


My sister and I

Most siblings have a lot of things in common, like face, hair style, and color skin the same interests.. However, my older sister and I are very different from each other, although many people often mistake us as twins. Once people actually get to know us they realize that we are very different in personalities and hobbies. I have often wondered how we ended up so different. We may look a like, but that's one of the only things we have in common. you repeat the same idea as you said before
As we are twins, we have many similarities in our appearances. My sister and I are both very short; and have the same exact height. Furthermore, we both have brown hair, blue eyes, and freckles head to toe. Our round faces are almost identical. We also wear the same sizes in clothes because of our small figures. Our tiny hands and chubby feet look exactly alike. Moreover, our styles of fashion are also similar, including love wearing t-shirts, shorts, and flip-flops. This similar appearance was a problem growing up, because we would steal each others' clothes. Our tiny hands and chubby feet look exactly alike. However, thankfully my sister's feet are a little bigger than mine, so she couldn't steal my shoes. Our shoe size is probably the only difference in our appearances.
Even though most of our appearances are similar, our personalities are completely opposite. My sister is a very hyper person, but I'm a calm and laid-back person. I love planning and organizing, but my sister never plans anything and just goes with the flow. She is very selfish and rarely puts others before herself. I have a really big heart and always put others before myself. She is a very social person and loves to talk; however, I have never been a talkative person and I like to keep to myself. She has a really bad temper and gets angry easily. It takes a lot to get me mad and I'm a very patient person. I'm always in a good mood, but my sister is rarely in good mood. I'm not a very picky person and I don't care if I don't get my way; however, my sister always has to have her way. She is always stubborn and makes situations so difficult for everyone else. I'm not stubborn at all and I try to do whatever is easiest for everyone. I love animals and children more than anything! My sister can't stand animals and doesn't plan on having children.
Finally, our hobbies are very different. I love being active and playing sports. In high school I was a cheerleader and a soccer player because sports were a big part of my life. I attended every baseball, basketball, and football game. Nevertheless, my sister has never played a sport in her entire life. She loves to sleep and be lazy. If it requires work, then she wants no part of it. I love to hunt, fish, and be outdoors; however, my sister doesn't like to get dirty or be outside. Her favorite hobbies are shopping and watching television. I can't stand to shop or be cooped up inside. She loves spending money and I rarely spend any money. My sister has always been a girlie girl and I have always been a tomboy.
I would say that although many siblings that who have the same parents maybe look the same a lot alike especially twins like us. Siblings that are raised the same usually share a lot in common. , My sister and I may look a like, but we actually have little in common.. However, I don't know why can't imagine having a my sister who is less like me then she is. It's hard to understand how we ended up so different, but were raised the same exact way. It just goes to show that not all siblings have similarities.



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