Unemployment is a serious problem in almost all the developing countries,while it does not seem to be a problem in most developed countries , such as Germany and US every country.
This is good. I like it if you kept it more general as your prompt suggests. Don't narrow down the scope of your prompt. However, this is your hook and it is done well :)
professional expertiseor
expertiseThere are some unemployed people in those countries too; maybe they do not have professional expertiseor they just cannot find a job appropriate for themselves. Factors such as economic climate and the person's living circumstances, responsibilities and skills effect a person's decisions in choosing a satisfying job or just a job to earn money.
This part is the section that you need to discuss the background of the issue. It is not written well. You need to introduce the argument and show why it is necessary to discuss. For example;
In this background, some people feel that if one gets a secured job, he or she should grab it quickly without waiting for another job opportunity which may be more satisfying. However, there are others who do not agree with this view. .... this is it!,the background!
Living in IRAN, I always prefer to have a secure jub, different people have different ideas.
... this is again not a very satisfactory sentence to conclude your introduction. Finish your intro with a firm statement that states your opinion;
My personal view is that if someone is offered a secured job, he or she should take it right away.