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The seasons of sunshine summer and winter paradise - comparison essay


galxrulz 1 / -  
Nov 5, 2008   #1
My comparison essay >< please feel free to correct my mistakes,especially my grammar!thankyou !
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Everyone has a place where they go to escape all the pressures and worries of life. When I was young, there is always that one spot in my home town, which can soothe all my problems and troubles in times of stress. For me, the beach is the ultimate cure to all of my problems. While I am there, all of my obligations are suddenly erased. I am comforted by the sounds of the ocean; the rhythmic pounding of the waves represses all of my worries. I look into the cloudless cerulean blue sky and see the perfection of life.

It was early dawn on a Friday morning, as the sun rises from the distant mountains we wait for daylight to breakout. We then reclined back in our chairs to take in the clear, deep blue sky, the sea-green ocean, the red-hot sun and white sand. As I focus closely at the surface of the waterfront the sand is very white, much like the winter snowflakes. As I look along the different points along the shore, the waves and ripple's of the salty water crash upon various sections of the beach. The pleasantly refreshing smell of the surf broke through the scent of the ocean mist. When I looked around, I see beautiful bright clear things everywhere. The tall green grass and the leaves on the trees sway in the sunshine. Looking far in the distance of the sea, spotting teenage boys surfing like birds flying across the sky. The pure, unadulterated joy of surfing is like sharing the pleasure, freedom and delight with the ocean. All days are bright, sunny, and warm.

Powerful intense sun rays shined through my skin, as I feel the heat energy. Small sea-water droplet dripped on my skin off again as it lightly touches it from blowing down from the trees. As I sat on the grass, I could still taste the salt water and feel the beaming sun against my shoulders and looking down at the clearest aqua blue water sea. The humidity seemed to sizzle and spit from the pavement. People huddled under trees for refuge from the sun as it beat down in large spanning heat. The constant buzzing of summer bugs rang in our ears, as they called out from the tops of trees, still, in the absence of breeze. There it was, like a mirage in a desert; a white ice cream truck, its familiar song distant and muffed by the heat and the buzzing. The paint-chipped pictures of chocolate dipped cones and gloppy strawberry sundaes caught our eyes just before we saw the real thing. A child reached out for a rosy strawberry ice cream cone, glistening, melting and dripping as it was passed. How wonderful it is to stand on pearly sands watching a big ball of fire melt into the ocean. A visit to the beach is one of life's greatest pleasures. No particular time constraints, not curfew, no worries - just endless days of child-like enjoyment. Sitting in the grass and listening to the nature sounds around me while its summer. The songs of the seagulls, and small children running about could be heard echoing around the beach. The dense heat prompted the urge for me to immerse my body in the cool crystal clear waters of the beach.

At star- twinkling summer night, when I gaze at the sky, the stars shining in the dark velvet, an unknown mystical feeling flowing through my heart and it recalls me the endless story. Summer day ends with the beautiful surroundings at the sea shore. The smell of the air heightens the spirit, as the sight of pale white sand elicit memories of years past. On this clear night, wild blue waves with white frothy tips crash against the jetty and pool into shallow wells teaming with life.

On the beach were the remains of fire pits with their charred and soggy remains of firewood: telling stories of warm summer nights and parties. The restaurants were crowded with hopeful servers staring out of the window, enjoying the summer. Alki beach, a place which in summer is filled with thousands of people spending their leisure time. Imagination and memories are the witnesses to its present spectacles. When night fell upon to the top, the blue sky is miraculously turned into a black sheet filled with diamonds. The beach resembled a dormant creature, snoring repeatedly and breathing heavily. The city soon will be filled with dramatic lights, and shop-windows are closed while the night life of clubs and bar will commence.

As I stand in my office room located in Edmonton, Canada - where I live right now with my family, I looked out of the window...

Icicles formed in the breezy atmosphere of a typical winter's night. From the gust of chilly air, I could sense that winter had arrived. The wind whimpered and whistled around the house, and through the branches of the old pine trees. The long nights were misty and blustery, the fields and meadows were covered with wintry darkness. The stars froze in the sky along with the wind but tense wind that gave a fierce atmosphere.

The snow-edged creek silently wept, near the shadows of the tall pine trees. White mist moved over water, slowly-like dense clouds in May, wrapped the river, and immense reservoir, in a mysterious dash of grey. Gray clouds passed swiftly across the sky as shapely raindrops fell steadily down, covering the land in the blurred space. Most plants and animals became dormant. In the immobility of the dawn, birds hibernated at the centre of the tree, but a swan glided aesthetically down the river to the wider estuary. Borne by the warming sun and high morning tide, a new day finally commenced. Winter days have fewer hours of daylight because of the path the earth takes as it revolves around the sun. As the sun rose above the bare-branched ground, the yielding air tinted the spell of silence ends from the muddied edge of the riverside. On the window ledges, the branches bare; how fast the snow gathers, filling the small air particles. As the days are getting shorter and darker, and it has almost something mystical. The nights are cold, and starry, and warm, and inviting lights shining through windows welcome thoughts of cozy and warm fireplaces.

The winter's night had been engulfed by the strong heat of the sun. Snowflakes, as fragile as glass tenderly dropped on the snow-filled ground. They shone in the background as though diamonds were plummeting from the sky. A Cluster of white birds with angel wings flew up the sky and circulated the whole town. Brown fuzzy squirrels came out of their habitat and leaped over the heavy volume of snow and up the nut tree, hitting the tree and forcing for their food to drop. People skated on the just-frozen pond, a shimmering, sparkling sheet of glass in the frosty winter sunlight. Beneath the clear, cerulean blue sky, piles of fluffy, white snow collect in clouds on the tops of evergreen trees.

As I leaned out of the window, I inhaled the fresh air smelling of wet earth. I looked up and saw the clouds slowly gather together so that they could shower their cool drops upon us down below. The trees were swaying slowly to the light wind that had picked up. It felt as if Mother Nature herself was getting ready for her dance in the snow. The whole landscape was not silently dead but completely the opposite; as if the world had awoken. Families sprinting with joy out of the door and gazed as each snowflake landed on their nose. As the children set foot on snow, imprints left behind where they once stood. Seeing snow prints and hearing ice crunching, surrendering under the weight of their heavy snow boots. Children throwing snowballs bundled up in scarves, gloves, and hats and infants screeching and yelling. While children had started to assemble the frosty snowman and snow castles, teenagers awaits their time for skiing and ice skating. A bundle of puny little girls and boys dressed up as professional skiers had gathered around outside the ski resort gripping on their own unique designs of skis ready for skiing. "THIS IS THE CHARM OF WINTER!" yells the seven-year old kid as he moulds the snowman with the source of pleasure

Winter's cold will make you stronger, Summer's sun makes everyone fall in love!
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Nov 5, 2008   #2
Good afternoon.

As I'm not sure what the specifics of this assignment are, I have commented on grammar and mechanics only. This is a good piece, but I do have a few comments.

First, watch your tense. You switch from past to present tense intermittently throughout the piece, which is confusing to your readers. Make sure you choose one tense and stick with it throughout the entire piece. Second, make sure you are capitalizing only proper nouns and the first words of sentences.

You have incredible description in this piece; nice work!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com


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