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Should school children be allowed to use cellphone?


duchuynguyen180 1 / 3  
Jul 3, 2013   #1
Topic: should students of school-age be allowed to use cellphone?

Nowadays, liviing standard has been improved day by day and technical breakthrough help fercilitate people's life. However, parents shouldn't underestimate the impact of cellphone on their children, especially when they are still in school-age. Admitedly, cellphone has many useful applications, but abusing it lead to some bad effects. Therefore, if parent have enough care to their children, allowing them to use cellphone is not a right thing to do because of the following reasons:

First of all,cellphone is a main cause of distraction in class, espcially when everybody are focusing on listening to teacher's lecture. The ringtone may annoy everybody and drive away their attention. The teacher is also effected as well, he or she may be interupted and therefore their productivity in someway is reduced.

Another disadvantage of using cellphone at school is that children obviously become neglected of studying. They spend more time playing games or texting messages.instead of paying attention to teacher's lecture.Consequencely, they will loose their interest of study and become lazier cause now cellphone is more fun to care.

Last but not least, in some cases, a dark side of using cellphone in class is that it can break friendship among members in class. For example, when someone's cellphone is lost, it will lead to misunderstanding, the student whose cellphone is lost will think somebody in class stole it. He or she may ask to check everyone and it will make classmates annoy and sometimes upset because their respect are doubt. Certainly, a relationship is not the same like before.

To sum up, with these reasons above, my point of view is children shouldn't be permitted to bring cellphone in scholldays. It in someways will cause bad impact to children's studying and people around them as well. Therefore, for kids' benefit, parent should take time to consider before allowing them using cellphone.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jul 3, 2013   #2
Seems you are new to the forum. Please have a meaningful topic in the "subject" field when you open a new thread. Also, mention the purpose of your writing such as IETLTS, TOEFL or GRE. Again, include the full prompt with your essay as many others do so that others would provide you with more relevant feed backs.

Nowadays, liviing standardhas been improved day by day and technical breakthrough help fercilitatefacilitate people's life.

..."Nowadays" and "day by day" clash with each other. Also, this sentence does not flow well.... Also, avoid expressing your ideas in a complicated manner with too many big words. What's more important is clarity and a beautiful flow;

With rapid advancement of technology, the quality of peoples lives are being improved almost day by day.

However, parents shouldn't underestimate the impact of cellphone on their children,

You need a link between your previous line and this. You talk about the cellphone all of a sudden without any reference to what you said earlier. Bridge the two ideas!
minhdang 2 / 2  
Jul 4, 2013   #4
Your essay is pretty good, but you still need some improvement.


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