Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


GRE Essay: Scandals are useful because they focus our attention


KMeghji 8 / 20 7  
May 20, 2014   #1
Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

Response:

Scandals often bring hot news for people whether involving public at large or just a few individuals. It certainly brings to focus, the issues that exists in society but are often not highlighted enough for common man. However, their single sided representation cannot be considered useful as it might enrage some false emotions.

It is easy to grab a piece of news featured in a magazine or broadcasted through television. But it is extremely difficult to detect the hidden, intricate details and analyze the issue from different perspectives. Most often, the news is sliced up in an opinion making it difficult to form any personal opinions.

Recently, Donald Sterling's racist comments were brought to light. Being himself involved with a sport which is predominantly played by dark skinned players, his comments were thought to be moronic at best. The remarks successfully enraged most of the country yet, many failed to realize that such recordings were probably breaching privacy. And when Edward Snowden fights for our privacy, he's a hero!

Scandals might bring to focus certain news that we might have ignored for some time. But does it bring to us what is more important in the present time? Our everyday Facebook news feed is littered with celebrity news, some political issue in far away countries and women rights issues. Yet, currently the most threatening news around has been the potential spread of MERS, a viral respiratory disease. Of course it has brought our focus on key issues yet it has all too well hidden what is necessary for the survival.

It may be argued that without these scandals, we might not become aware of the intensity with which a certain issue is rising. Again, with the example of Edward Snowden, we would certainly not have suspected such a huge case. He was well appreciated for his bravery but some also labeled him a traitor. In view of all the arguments and the revelations, he might rightly be both a traitor and a patriot. Hence, most often, biased opinions are forced along with the news.

It is not just some big scandal that is needed to bring issues to light. To move people there must be something that they feel they are related to. Take example of teen girls' abduction in Nigeria. People from around the world are not only acknowledging the issue but also taking action in any way they can instead of merely protesting.

Today, we need to focus on issues that are not only necessary to address but also as urgent that we need to put all efforts in solving them. Scandals may help us but they are usually involved or at least made public when they do not concern the public at large. Also, opinionated statements from the scandal revealers should definitely be thought upon before believing as is.

(Please correct any errors found and mark on a scale of 1-6)
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
May 20, 2014   #2
It certainly brings to focus, the issues that existsexist in society but are often not highlighted enough for common man.

Scandals often bring hot news for people whether involving public at large or just a few individuals. It certainly brings to focus, the issues that exists in society but are often not highlighted enough for common man. However, their single sided representation cannot be considered useful as it might enrage some false emotions.

Impressive introduction :)

It is easy to grab a piece of news featured in a magazine or broadcasted through television. But it is extremely difficult to detect the hidden, intricate details and analyze the issue from different perspectives. Most often, the news is sliced up in an opinion making it difficult to form any personal opinions.

Recently, Donald Sterling's racist comments were brought to light. Being himself involved with a sport which is predominantly played by dark skinned players, his comments were thought to be moronic at best. The remarks successfully enraged most of the country yet, many failed to realize that such recordings were probably breaching privacy. And when Edward Snowden fights for our privacy, he's a hero!

... why do you have two paras for these ideas? The first one is one reason you choose to justify your position on the issue and second one is the example you use to support that reason. They both speak the same idea and hence they should be in one para.
OP KMeghji 8 / 20 7  
May 21, 2014   #3
Thank you, Pahan. Yes that was a single para but I only broke it up because it seemed too long compared to others.


Home / Writing Feedback / GRE Essay: Scandals are useful because they focus our attention
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳