'robotic teacher' - Will technology replace the teacher in classroom??

Hi, I have IELTS in a week, last time i scored 6.5 in writing. However I have to score 7. Im glad if you help me by giving your valuable points.

Topic: Technology is becoming increasingly prevalent in the world today. Given time, technology will completely replace the teacher in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In today's world, the use of technology is ever increasing. Even in classrooms,technology can be commonly seen.It is disagreed that technology will completely replace the real teacher in a classroom. It is shown by analyzing the inability of a robotic teacher to discipline a misbehaving student in a classroom as well as a robotic teacher hindrance to the learning process of a student.

To begin with, a teacher powered by artificial intelligence would have little or no control over it's students.For example,it is commonly understood that children require the watchful eye of a teacher to ensure that they are Indeed doing their classwork,instead of fooling around during class time. Unfortunately this is something that a technology driven teacher simply cannot provide. Thus,this makes it clear why technology will never completely replace a teacher in the classroom.

Secondly, a robotic teacher would disrupt a student's learning process and in effect slow the ability of a student to absorb the information from the lessons. For instance, kids require motivation to be taught effectively. Such is a quality a human teacher possess but a technology driven instructor do not. From this it becomes quite evident that robotic instructor will never take the place of a real teacher in a classroom.

To summarize, a robotic teacher lacks the discipline needed to instruct students properly and actually operates to retard the student ability to learn new information. Thus it is clear that why the idea of having a classroom run entirely by a machine is not supported. After analyzing this subject,it is predicted that the negative aspects of the debate over computerized teaching will forever be stronger than the positive ones and because of this, computers will never replace teachers.

Well, you need to write one reason per body para to justify your opinion on the issue. That reason should be supported with one specific example.

I hope I followed the same for the body paragraph.

1 reason
example
discussion
conclusion

can you tell me what else you are telling to change?

... sure...let me first examine your intro carefully :D


.... Ok, this is your hook :D


... I have to take this part as your background section of the intro, ok? :D
The guideline we always provide is aimed at not only helping you to accommodate the most essential features of the essay for you to score, but also help you save time to complete the task. So, by practicing to write your essays in a particular approach would help you immensely at the exam to handle your time effectively. The approach we gave is more straightforward and time effective. This is how I would do this background;

Even in classrooms, use of technology can be commonly seen. Some people argue that technology may completely replace the teacher's role in the classroom in time to come. ... this is much shorter than what you have written above, but contains every aspect of the background of the issue. What I did was merely paraphrased the topic.

Lastly, you have not included your own opinion (thesis statement) in the intro. Your prompt asks


So, state your opinion before you conclude your intro;
However, I do not agree with this argument and believe that teachers can never be completely replaced by computers.