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Essay about rising divorce rate in Turkey


answers: 3
Dec 17, 2006, 04:17am   #
I am supposed to write an essay about rising divorce rate in Turkey, in cause and effect order, here is the causes part, my essay is for Monday, so I will be very glad if you can help, thanks a lot. Here is the latest version of my essay, if you can help, I will be very happy.

Rising Divorce Rate in Turkey

Since the twentieth century, the divorce rate has begun to rise dramatically, in many countries. While years ago, divorcing was a rare fact in societies, today it is quite common due to various factors. Turkey is one of the countries, in which divorce rate has been following an upward trend since 2001. The basic causes for rising divorce rate in Turkey can be traced to three events: women's changing roles, infidelity, economic crises and financial problems.

The first cause for the rising divorce rate in Turkey, is the women's changing role in the society. After the reforms held by Ataturk, women have begun to play a more significant role in life. They had the opportunity to acquire an education, instead of sitting at home looking after their children, they started working. Hence, they became independent individuals. Before, it was difficult for women to end their unhappy marriages, however after the developments mentioned above women had the opportunity to divorce, and to live the life they desire. Accordingly, the divorce rate is on increase since these improvements.

Another cause of the rising divorce rate is rising infidelity. Due to the lack of passion and excitement in their relationships, or because of the fear of getting older many spouses have an affair. In addition, in today's world people want to experience different things and to live different lives. All these factors culminates in adultery. While some marriages survive an affair, many don't, and the divorce rate continues its upward trend.

The final but the most important causes for the rising divorce rate in Turkey are economic crises and financial problems. According to Turkish Statistical Institute's (TURKSTAT) statistics, divorce rate has gained momentum since the 2001 economic crisis. Because of the 2001 economic crisis many people lost their jobs and the cost of living increased dramatically. The struggle to make a living gave damaged marriages. Furthermore, in 21st century, people don't have the nerve to endure financial difficulties; therefore, instead of struggling together, they prefered to struggle alone, and got divorced. Today, many people think that it is easier to live alone due to financial reasons, and the upward trend of divorcing still continues.

In general, the causes mentioned above result in divorce, and divorce changes the lives of children who have seperated parents. Although it seems that an unhappy marriage is worse for children, many children don't think in the same way. Recent research on children whose parents have ended their marriages show that, these children are not succesful in school, they perform more poorly in reading, spelling, and math, they have difficulty in trusting people, and they have the tendency to be alone.

Ending a marriage affects not only children but also single people and changes the structure of the society. As a result of the rising divorce rate, single people think that there is no need to get married. Therefore, the rate of marriage decreases each year. Accordingly, the birth rate is going to dwindle in the future.

In conclusion, although the reasons of divorce may differ considerably, in Turkey main reasons for divorce are women's changing role, infidelity, economic crises and financial problems. Rising divorce rate affects the children of seperated parents negatively, and it also has affects on single people. Therefore, people who want to end their marriage have to think twice before they get divorced because of the negative consequences and people also have to think twice before they get married.
Greetings!

I'll be glad to help with proofreading. Let's take a look:

"Since the twentieth century, the divorce rate has begun to rise dramatically, in many countries."

You don't need the comma.

"While years ago, divorcing was a rare fact in societies, today it is quite common due to various factors."

How about: "While years ago divorce was rare in certain societies, several factors make it quite common today."

"Turkey is one of the countries, in which divorce rate has been following an upward trend since 2001."

Again, you don't need the comma, but you do need to insert "the" in front of "divorce."

"The first cause for the rising divorce rate in Turkey, is the women's changing role in the society."

No comma here, either. :-) Also, take out "the" before "women's." (You would need it for the singular "woman's", but not the plural "women's." I know, I know--English is weird!) Also, delete "the" in front of "society."

"After the reforms held by Ataturk, women have begun to play a more significant role in life."

I would begin the sentence, "Since the reforms introduced by Ataturk, women . . . " Looking ahead, I see that you are using the past tense in the next sentences, so you need to make it match here: ". . . women had begun . . . "

"They had the opportunity to acquire an education, instead of sitting at home looking after their children, they started working."

Delete the comma after "education", but leave the next one and insert "and" after it.

"Before, it was difficult for women to end their unhappy marriages, however after the developments mentioned above women had the opportunity to divorce, and to live the life they desire."

I recommend changing the comma after "marriages" to a semi-colon and deleting "however." You also need to change "desire" to "desired", since you are writing in the past tense. The sentence would flow better if you said "after Ataturk's reforms" rather than "after the developments mentioned above."

"Accordingly, the divorce rate is on increase since these improvements."

Insert "the" before "increase." Also, the sentence implies that the rising divorce rates are an improvement (it doesn't actually say that, but it does imply it); maybe you could use "changes" instead of "improvements."

"Another cause of the rising divorce rate is rising infidelity."

It's usually best not to use the same descriptive word twice in one sentence (unless you're doing it for effect). I suggest saying "growing divorce rate" and "rising infidelity", but it's up to you.

"Due to the lack of passion and excitement in their relationships, or because of the fear of getting older many spouses have an affair."

Insert a comma after "older."

"All these factors culminates in adultery."

It should be "culminate" rather than "culminates."

"The final but the most important causes for the rising divorce rate in Turkey are economic crises and financial problems."

Begin the sentence, "The final, most important . . . "

"According to Turkish Statistical Institute's (TURKSTAT) statistics, divorce rate has gained momentum since the 2001 economic crisis."

Insert "the" before "divorce rate."

"Because of the 2001 economic crisis many people lost their jobs and the cost of living increased dramatically."

I recommend rewriting this: "Many people lost their jobs during this time, and the cost . . . "

"The struggle to make a living gave damaged marriages."

Delete "gave."

"Furthermore, in 21st century, people don't have the nerve to endure financial difficulties; therefore, instead of struggling together, they prefered to struggle alone, and got divorced."

Insert "the" before "21st." "Prefered" needs to be "preferred." And you can delete "therefore." When you use a semi-colon, it tells the reader that the two halves of the sentence are related in some way (in your case, cause and effect), so you don't need to use "therefore" or "however" or any other word that you would use in a separate sentence to indicate a relationship. Oh, and one more thing: you start the sentence in the present tense, then switch to the past. It would be best in this case to say "prefer" and "get."

"Today, many people think that it is easier to live alone due to financial reasons, and the upward trend of divorcing still continues."

"Divorcing" is OK, but "divorce" is more idiomatic.

Sometimes I wonder how people ever managed to invent a language as complicated as English. As I believe I told you before, your English is really quite good. It takes years of reading, writing and practice to learn all the little tricks, and you are well on your way!

Keep up the good work, and best of luck to you!

Sarah, EssayForum.com



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