IELTS: I believe that poorer countries require rich ones support to develop their countries

Please help me to improve my writing
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the
following topic.
Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer
nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for
helping the poorer nations in such areas.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Advancement in poorer countries depends on progress in health, education and economic. Considering financial and management state of those countries, development would be inaccessible without affluent nations' help. I believe that rich countries have main responsibility to help development in poorer countries.

In the first place, poorer countries do not have sufficient financial resources to invest on education, heath. They require foreign aid to build basic organizations which provide them with educational and health care facilities. In the second place, poorer countries have less knowledge and experience to enhance their economic. They have fewer numbers of experts to work on crucial areas such as education, health and trade. Advanced nations can help poorer ones with their experts in these areas.

However there would be significant problems with just financial assistance and foreign experts. First, they are not a long lasting solution. Second, these funds can cause poorer countries to lose their independence, and be influenced by foreign countries. Third, they would exacerbate the situation in poorer countries. This kind of aids would be end in huge debts for poor countries and it would benefit more affluent countries rather than poorer ones.

The best way to solve these problems and meanwhile to help the poorer nations is cooperating with those nations to improve their knowledge and to explore their own potential resources. Advance countries can share their knowledge and management experiences with poorer ones to train higher professional experts from the people of those countries. In addition, advanced countries can set researches in poor countries to find their potential wealth such as row materials or touristic sites and they can teach them how to explore those wealth.

In conclusion, I believe that poorer countries require rich ones helps to develop their countries. The permanent assistance would be training experts, sharing knowledge and exploring the potential wealth of poorer countries.

Thanks in advance

Although you make a valid point, you never make me (as a reader) feel like I should do this. This is because you never present a valid argument for WHY richer countries should help poorer ones. Sure, you say that we should, that it's our responsibility, yada yada yada, but never why. Try a pathos argument blended with facts and personal perspective. Good luck! Love, E.

I do not know what books are you studying now, but for improving your writing you should write as many topics as possible beside reading various texts with different subjects. Reading and writing are linked. The book entitled "Focus on Vocabulary" contains very useful words and passages that can help you to ameliorate your reading and writing skills. Try to buy all IELTS books and do all the tests in the books ("IELTS practice test plus 1 to 3", "IELTS trainer", "Practice and preparation for IELTS:Reading and Writing", "IELTS Cambridge 3 to 8" {volum 1 and 2 are too old} , "IELTS crack: Listening").

This forum is also very useful to find your mistakes in writing. It is my pleasure to help you and I will review your future works :))))

Best
Ahmad