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This is a research paper on whether Social Networks causes relationships to end


mcotton79 1 / -  
Nov 8, 2012   #1
The guidelines for this paper are as follows
Transition sentence to get from the previous paragraph
Topic sentence
Supporting evidence: quotations, summaries, and/or paraphrases
Analysis and comments on supporting evidence
Concluding Sentence

"Jealousy and Trust Ends Relationships not Social Networks"



With social network sites like Facebook and Twitter becoming a major part of our daily interactions with our peers a question has emerged; are these sites and sites like them contributing to the break ups of relationships? Being a user of these sites I have seen an increase in relationships failing because of "inappropriate" behavior via these sites. Can these sites really be to blame? Shouldn't people still be held accountable for their own actions? One thing is for sure these sites are coming up more and more as the breaking point of relationships in conversations amongst our friends and peers. Recent studies have shown that the use of social networks is a contributing factor to break ups of relationships and marriages. Studies show that the significant amount of time spent on these social networks engaged in contact with members of the opposite sex tends to create jealousy and a lack of trust which can lead to the relationship ending.

There was quite a bit of evidence in the form of articles on the effects of Facebook and relationships, and social media sites and relationships in general. The behavior on these sites by those in relationships that could be harmful to relationships was also discussed in the articles that I came across. Focusing on the jealousy and suspicion caused by Facebook in relationships to how social media can make or break a relationship was discussed in every source I located. "The internet makes it much easier to start a relationship, get caught and make a relationship come to an end."( Brophy Marcus M "Online love is easy come, easy go.")

Being a member of the social networking site Facebook I have noticed quite a bit of questionable behavior that has led to the end of relationships. Studies done in recent years have shown a link between social networking sites and relationship break ups. From what could be deemed inappropriate comments or postings, to friends of the opposite sex that at first glance stirs up feelings of jealousy and mistrust. These social networking sites from my point of view have the potential to cause major havoc in a romantic relationship, especially one that is already troubled. Social media has increased peoples' ability to connect with others across the world that they may not have otherwise met. This created an opportunity for more cheating and bad behavior in relationships. However, people are still accountable for their own actions. A social networking site does not have the ability to make someone do something they do not want.

Social media has made it easier for a person to engage in an affair or be unfaithful but at the end of the day people are still held accountable for their own actions and choices. Just because social media is there, you still must use it responsibly. Being that most people in society have a Twitter or Facebook account this is something that has affected many relationships not always in a good way either. The thing that stuck out the most as I researched this topic is that some of my audience has either been through this situation or knows someone who has been through it.

According to a survey done in January 2011 more than one third of the thousand participants surveyed believed it was in fact possible to start a romantic relationship online. That makes you quickly realize that the communication with others on these social networking sites can lead to more than a friendship from a friend request. Fifty percent of those surveyed knew someone who had started a relationship online. "Fundamentally, what social media has done is make it unbelievably easier to flirt and meet people and follow up," says David Jones, global CEO of ad and marketing agency Euro RSCG Worldwide.( Mary Brophy, M. Online love is easy come, easy go.) For single people or those not in a committed relationship this is a pro. This allows them to meet a variety of people and opens up dating opportunities for them. On the con side this is not exactly ideal for those in a committed relationship. This unfortunately can cause trouble in a committed relationship for those that are already prone to being unfaithful. In others words like it's like putting a kid in a candy store. It can also lead to stirring up jealousy and trust issues.

In "More Information than You Ever Wanted: Does Facebook Bring out the Green-Eyed Monster of Jealousy?" authors Muise, Christofides, and Desmarais take a look at jealousy and suspicion caused by Facebook in relationships in the real world. They conduct several studies to show how spending a lot of time on Facebook and friending people of the opposite sex that your mate doesn't know contributes to jealousy and suspicions in relationships. Social media sites like Facebook has definitely made connecting with people globally that you may never have come in contact with easier. This can lead to jealousy and insecurities within a romantic relationship causing major trust issues.

The article concludes "exposure to information about a romantic partner's friends' and social interactions may result in an environment that enhances jealousy."(Muise, Christofides,Desmarais "More Information than You Ever Wanted: Does Facebook Bring Out the Green-Eyed Monster of Jealousy?") Being able to see the activity your partner is engaging in and with who can be a blessing and a curse, meaning it could be good and bad. It has some pros and cons in a sense. As humans we tend to analyze things a lot with negative assumptions sometimes leading us to jump to conclusions resulting in jealousy and mistrust in our relationships. It's great to be able to monitor so to speak you significant others online activity but not so great when that activity leads to jealousy and trust issues.

This leads to the next question, what about social networking causes jealousy in relationships? There was so much information all over about this. From YouTube video confessionals, articles in the library's database, even blogs on the internet. They all touched on a central point, social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter ruined their relationships. Various reasons were listed from discovered inboxes, being "overly flirtatious", to lying and cheating. Some of these things mentioned are the same types of behaviors leading to problems if done in relationships outside of the social networking world. So, why should social networking sites be the blame for a person that was already going to be unfaithful? How can the sites be blamed for an individual's actions. People are responsible for their own conduct and the way that they handle themselves. If in a relationship, your conduct on these social networks should be no different than that of your conduct in everyday life. It's just that simple but overwhelming amount of destruction to relationships discovered in my research shows it might not be.

It became extremely apparent through all sources consulted during my research on social networking sites impact on romantic relationships, that it can do more harm than good in most cases. Tehrene Firman, an editor on staff at the Northern Iowan discussed the behaviors on Facebook that can be misunderstood leading to issues in a relationship. She discusses how Facebook has evolved as a big platform for people to communicate and connect with friends. In the article "It's complicated': How social media can make or break a relationship." Firman interviewed Blaine Koenig, senior psychology and exercise science double major who was quoted as saying, "people may take wall posts the wrong way, say a guy writes on a girl's wall that he can't wait to see her tonight. Her boyfriend may see it and get jealous, not trust or get mad at his girlfriend." (Firman, "It's complicated': How social media can make or break a relationship.") . Delving into the different ways that parties in a relationship could misunderstand something posted on their significant others wall, or private conversations she talks about how this has been responsible for ending relationships. Trust becomes affected in relationships through these social media sites. Some don't recognize that it is possible to be unfaithful in your relationship online.

"A 2009 study done by culture and style writer Katherine Bindley for The Huffington Post suggested Facebook makes "unique contributions to the experience of jealousy in romantic relationships." Divorce attorneys say Facebook flirtations are frequently cited in their cases. (Bindley, "Facebook Relationship Problems: How Social Networking And Jealousy Affect Your Love Life.") While Facebook is not to blame for the demise of romantic relationships it is a contributing factor, lack of trust ends relationships period. Social networking sites tracks and displays everything that you are doing on them, liking someone's picture, writing on someone wall or page to which you are friends with. So most of what you do on them can be seen by everyone, including your significant other.

In the 2011 article "The Role of Social Network Sites in Romantic Relationships: Effects on Jealousy and Relationship Happiness", the writers of this article take a look at the good and bad of using social networking sites (SNS). They explore the pros and cons of being in a relationship while being engaged in the social networking world. The article concluded the point that "although Facebook jealousy was mainly determined by trait jealousy, there was an additional effect of time spent on Facebook, indicating that SNS increase feelings of jealousy." Seeing your partner interact online with an unknown attractive member of the opposite sex naturally creates a threat within us but if we have low self-esteem it can make it that much worse to deal with.

Time spent on Facebook communicating with members of the opposite sex that your mate does not know can lead to suspicion and jealousy in romantic relationships. As a user of Facebook as mentioned previously I see at first glance that transpires in relationships. There are so many different people on these social networking sites and some people are not completely honest and some just don't seem to care or respect boundaries. Excessive time spent on social networking sites when in a relationship can eventually to one party having jealousy in the relationship. Over the course of time this mounting jealousy if not addressed over resolved is in fact what contributes to the demise of the relationship. It has happened time and time again, what one person considers excessive and inappropriate another may not but of course any misrepresentation of yourself when in a relationship is considered "cheating".

Social networking has made it easier for jealousy to rear its ugly head in relationships. A lot of the time when your partner friends an attractive member of the opposite sex it instantly raises a feeling of being uncomfortable inside of us. This leads to mistrust and more than likely the downfall of the relationship due to a lack of trust. The evidence in studies shows that social networking sites have an impact on romantic relationships. Stacy Kaiser addresses the things that can wreak havoc in your personal relationship when engaging in social networking. In her article in USA Today in February 2012, she addresses the different ways social media can harm your real-life personal relationships. Things like full disclosure, trust, the past, and sharing too much information can be hazardous to your relationship. (Kaiser, "Social media can both help and hurt real-life relationships.") What most people seem to have difficulty realizing is that just because you are conversing with people online doesn't mean you would act any different than if you were in person. Behave on the web just as you would in person. If you know that your partner would have a problem with your type of interaction with a social networking friend then maybe your behavior is unacceptable.

So while social media sites and social networking on them is a contributing factor to relationships ending it is not the cause of them ending.) Sites like Facebook are not to blame for the demise of romantic relationships it is a contributing factor, lack of trust ends relationships period. The jealousy that is created by monitoring your partners behavior online and certain behaviors viewed as questionable is what creates the downward spiral of relationships. There must be trust and respect in any relationship for it to survive and social networking has opened a way for people to see more than when they previously have in relationships. This exposure has led to feelings of insecurity and jealousy often resulting in the destruction of many relationships.


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