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IELTS: Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more


me4mbd 5 / 11 5  
Aug 19, 2013   #1
Topic: Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Debate concerns the personality and development influenced by inherited characteristics of human or experiences have seen one of the burning issues nowadays. Influences of the characteristics we are born with, as well as impact of experiences in our characteristics will be discussed in this essay.

Proponents of the characteristics we are born with view claim that everyone get specific characteristics from their ancestors. In this advanced era genetic engineering or biotechnology proved that we carry some particular genes from our parents that explore the integrity, decency, and dignity of our character which is completely different from others. The most blatant example of this is clone of the sheep 'Doly'. Based on this, researcher indicates that it is also possible make human clone by using DNA from the parents. Identical twin is another steer example, while they have similar characteristics and attitudes.

In contrast, supporters of the experiences advocate that, people learn from their experiences as they grow up. For instance, if there is a position available at internet giant Google they will employ someone who have experiences rather than his or her father or mother was a high profile personnel as some people claimed that children get their characteristics from parent. In addition, two centuries ago people who migrated from Great Britain to Australia most of the cases were criminals. However, if it true that our personality and development is influenced by our inherited characteristics, everyone in Australia should be criminals but opposite is true. In addition, human have ability to learn from mistakes and adopt themselves in the situation by using sixth senses. Evaluation theory of Charles Darwin could be a quirky example here.

In fine, after considering both factors I believe that experiences have more influence to develop our personality and characteristics. I believe that the characteristics we are born with have some impact in personality but it does not have more influence than the experiences that we gain in our lifetime.
shadman19922 21 / 74 10  
Aug 19, 2013   #2
Debate concerns the personality and development influenced by inherited characteristics of human or experiences have seen one of the burning issues nowadays

... This sentence implies that a debate (An abstract noun, an intangible entity) has seen something, plus it's grammatically incorrect. A better sentence would be: "The issue of whether personality and development are more influenced by inherent characteristics vs. experience has spanned a number of debates "

. Influences of the characteristics we are born with, as well as impact of experiences in our characteristics will be discussed in this essay.

...There's no need to mention this. You're writing an essay to discuss the given issue.

Your explanations feel a bit too short, perhaps you can find number of ways to expand your argument? And this essay lacks a proper introduction
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Aug 19, 2013   #3
Your introduction seems to be too lengthy. Generally, introduction aims at introducing the prompt and your position to the reader. Since IELTS tasks have a bearing on time, do not waste time lengthening paragraphs unnecessarily. Include all important features in your essay that would help you earn marks.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Aug 19, 2013   #4
Proponents of the characteristics we are born with view claim that everyone get specific characteristics from their ancestors.

.... I feel you should have more weight on the reason why they believe so;
The people support the view that our born characteristics dominate the ones we collect from experiences, highly believe in our genetic configurations that are heavily influenced by our ancestors.

The most blatant example of this is clone of the sheep 'Doly'. Based on this, researcher indicates that it is also possible make human clone by using DNA from the parents

... well, your prompt is based on characteristics - whether they are shaped more by inheritance or experience. Your example has less relevance to that fact.


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