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Reflection about my 2nd month writing course,please I'd like to get feedback.


answers: 3
Hello to everybody.I'm new on this site and let me tell you it's relly useful . I would like to ask for a feedback on this essay. Im taking Academic Writing course and I am going to present it tomorrow , but my teacher asked me to have someone's feedback too. every correction you might do on this essay will be helpful for me.
thanks you so much for taking part of your time on this.(Im spanish speaker so please understadn some errors I have while writing , Im working so hard to became an English teacher) thanks.


Writing has not always been my favorite; however, I feel my writing has improved during this month. Having worked on three different patterns of essay organization such as Chronological Order-Process, Cause/Effect and Comparison/Contrast Essay; helped me to categorize all ideas I want to write about and gave me many tools to use when writing essays. Moreover, I have written three formal essays in the patterns mentioned before, that assistance me to notice where I was making mistakes and that turned out really helpful for my learning of writing.
My first essay was a how to composition where I wrote about steps we can follow to overcome a fear. I think I did it good, but I should recognize it was not my best , this was because I had little problems on my schedule at work and at the University too, so I did not how to handle with Icpna course, however I could figured it out and I wrote this first essay in a very short time. That did not let me go so far with the topic I chose, therefore, I just tried to be consistent. When I got a classmate feedback about that essay I realized I was having some difficulties on setting up my ideas because my classmate let me know things I had not noticed like making the paragraph more specific.
On the second essay I wrote in class I had to choose among three topics given by the teacher in order to make a cause/effect essay. These were "The effects of Divorce", "Causes and Effects of Poverty" and "The effects of standing up your Boyfriend", from where I chose the first one. Since I had looked for information on the internet a day before I was more prepared for this time. Truly, this aided me to come up with ideas easily while I was writing the essay, but, as it was a controversial topic probably I did not focused enough on it that I only got 2 points score form three.
The final essay I was given was to write a Comparison/Contrast composition. I decided to write about a topic which was close to any experience I had, hence, I wrote about "Living at home and living away from home". I merely wrote about things what happened to me focusing them on my point of view of course but, I think that, as it was reflected on a personal experience I got so far with the topic and this took longer that I though. The bell run and I was just finishing with my draft. However, I gave it to my teacher later. Even so, I thought I had done it great but, when he gave it back to me and I saw my score I accepted that I seriously have to work harder to improve my writing.
In fact, there is still a long way in the writing academic I need to walk and I know that practicing is the only way, however I should recognize that my writings essay I have done in class helped me to realize that I am not good at writing as I though, and knowing that is very important for me because there are things on myself that I would never know if somebody does not tell me.
PamPieri

Sep 22, 2010, 02:15am   #2
some small comments
Having worked on three different patterns of essay organization such as Chronological Order-Process, Cause/Effect and Comparison/Contrast Essay.
I think they are not an example. Maybe including is better word.
Having worked on three different patterns of essay organization including Chronological Order-Process, Cause/Effect and Comparison/Contrast Essay.

My first essay was about

" a how to composition " What does it mean?

These were "The effects of Divorce", "Causes and Effects of Poverty" and "The effects of standing up your Boyfriend", from where and I chose the first one

I had looked surfed for information on the internet

the number of "I" written in essay is high. try to use passive forms
I think I did it good, but I should recognize. I think , it was done good
Sep 22, 2010, 02:55am   #3
Hi!

I am offering you some suggestions and corrections with respect to your essay. I have no idea how your writing was prior to your writing this essay, so I really cannot comment on that; however, I can say that you are doing well here -- you just need to tighten up with respect to some areas of your writing abilities. Make use of the semicolon in the correct ways. Re-write the essay and re-post it on the forum.

Thanks,

Mark :)



Writing has not always been my favorite subject; however, I feel my writing has improved during this month. Having worked on three different patterns of essay organization such as Chronological Order-Process, Cause/Effect and Comparison/Contrast Essay;Essay,they all helped me to categorize all ideas I want to write about and gave me many tools to use when writing essays. Moreover, I have written three formal essays in the patterns mentioned beforeaforementioned patterns, and that assistance allowed me to notice where I was making mistakes and that turned out to be really helpful for my learning of writing.
My first essay was a 'how to' composition, where I wrote about steps we can follow to overcome a fear. I think I did it goodwrote it well, but I should recognize it was not my best ,best. thisThis wasis because I had littlea few other problems on my schedule at work and at the University too, so I did not how to handle withthe Icpna course,course; however I could have figured it out and I wrotewritten this first essay in a very short time. That did not let me go so far with the topic I chose, therefore, I just tried to be consistent. When I got asome classmate feedback about that essay I realized I was having some difficulties on setting up my ideas because my classmates let me know things I had not noticed, likesuch as making the paragraph more specific.
On the second essay I wrote in class I had to choose among three topics given by the teacher in order to make a cause/effect essay. These were "The effects of Divorce", "Causes and Effects of Poverty" and "The effects of standing up your Boyfriend", from wherefrom which I chose the first one. Since I had looked for information on the internet a day before I was more prepared for this time. Truly, this aided me to come up with ideas easily while I was writing the essay, but, as it was a controversial topic probably I did not focused enough on it that I only got 2 points score form three.
The final essay I was given was to write a Comparison/Contrast composition. I decided to write about a topic which was close to any experience I had, hence, I wrote about "Living at home and living away from home". I merely wrote about things what happened to me focusing them on my point of view of course but, I think that, as it was reflected on a personal experience I got so far with the topic and this took longer that I though. The bell runrang and I was just finishing with my draft. However, I gave it to my teacher later. Even so, I thought I had done it great but, when he gave it back to me and I saw my score I accepted that I seriously have to work harder to improve my writing.
In fact, there is still a long way in the writing academic I need to walk and I know that practicing is the only way, however I should recognize that my writings essay I have done in class helped me to realize that I am not good at writing as I though, and knowing that is very important for me because there are things on myself that I would never know if somebody does not tell me.
Sep 22, 2010, 05:11am   #4
Dear Pamela
I am a student in english and I need more practise too. However, I revised your last paragraph
maybe it can help you just a little bit
ana

In fact, there is a long way to learn academic writing and I know that practicing is the best way for me.My previous essays ,that I have done in class, helped me to realize that I am not as good at english as I thought. Becoming aware of my mistakes is very important for me becasue I never realize my mistakes if nobody tells me.



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