In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year after finishing high school and starting university studies.
It is quite common these days for younger people in man countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school to gain some real life experience by visting or working in different countries.There would seem to be clear benefits and drawbacks of this trend.
There are multifarious reasons to support the notion of gap year before entering into university education.Perhaps the major advantage in terms of personal life is that youngsters become self-confident when they travel away from their home,because in this situations they would need to takes all their decisions on their own ability.Other significant reason is that when they visit different countries they will get a chance to broaden their horizons and knowledge about culture and traditions of other places.
Another compelling cause is that while get admitted into university,students need a knowledge about specific field in which they starts their study.So take off year after high school fulfil this demand because it gives the opportunity to candidates to explore their surroundings while working in corporations.This would be a win-win situation from all perspectives.Academically,it is widely believed that the student who enroled in any works before university education may obtains good score than others.
There are,of course,negative aspects of this long-year break.The greatest drawback of this is that student would finds a difficulty to readapting the university study.Another possible problem os that when any younger one enlisted in any jobs then their curiosity about earning more money is increase and they leave the study.As a result,they may be lose the chance of gainng high salaries which paricularly only possible with higher university education.
In summary,we can see that this is clearly a complex issue as there are significant pros and cons to this proposal.But to gain sense of discipline,knowledge etc. this yar off would be beneficial for adolescents.
You have put together a terrific essay on the subject of taking a break after high school. The form is perfect with an intro, conclusion, and three body paragraphs. Your two paragraphs on the pro side of the argument, do outweigh the one paragraph, on the con side. Just a couple of suggestions:
other significant reason...
CORRECTED: other significant reasons are.
You need to distinguish singular from plural, because that affects the verb conjugation. This is important in strong writing!
so take off after a year...fulfil
CORRECTED: so taking off after a year fulfills...
Again the verb denotation needs improvement. You need to be carefull, because this lack of attention to detail, in regards to verbs, could count against you in the marks department.
I think you basically have the bones of a good essay, but just need to pay some attention to word choice. Your punctuation is fairly good.
If you improve your verb conjugations, you will have a stronger essay! Also some attention to spelling would be an improvement.
Good job!
ef_carol
Jaggi, I agree with EF_Carol, your essay is written well, good job!!!
However, I would like to share what I found out upon proof reading your essay;
- It is quite common these days for younger people in many countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school to gain some real life experience by visi ting or working in different countries. (the corrections I made on the part may look very minor but believe me they make a difference, that's why proof reading your essay before submitting it is a big plus)
- There are multifarious reasons to support the notion of a year gap year before entering into university education.
- Perhaps the major advantage in terms of personal life is that youngsters become self-confident when they travel away from their home,because in this situations they would need to takestake all their decisions on their own ability.
- Other significant reason is that when they visit different countries they will get a chance to broaden their horizons and knowledge about culture and traditions of other places.
- Another compelling cause is that while getting admitted into university,students need a knowledge about specific field in which they starts their study.
- So they take off a year after high school fulfilto fulfill this demand because it gives the opportunity tofor candidates to explore their surroundings while working in corporations.
- This would be a win-win situation from all perspectives.Academically,it is widely believed that the student who enroll ed in any workstype of job before university education may obtains good score than others.
There you have it, a little help from my end. I hope it helps and make sure that you follow through, mind the points below;
- spell checker to be turned on all the time
- word choice and the form
- proof read
Keep writing
Cheers!!!
