Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


Which of my qualities would add value to community of scholars?


c_brooks1 1 / 1  
Dec 14, 2014   #1
The UGA faculty has determined that the student body should demonstrate the qualities listed in the Admissions Philosophy Statement. After reviewing this, help us understand which of your qualities will add value to our community of scholars. (250-300 words).

Standing in front of two judges in a small classroom used for 10th grade English, I began to sing my solo, which had been artfully crafted and prepared for two months. Unexplained fear rose through my body and seized control of my voice, eliminating any presence of dynamics and beauty. Being an All-State choir member was all I looked forward to each year, and for the past four years I thought it was what defined me. When I found out I did not pass the first audition, I felt as if my entire world had collapsed. The shock, devastation, and despair that consumed me forced me to look at life in a different way. This learning experience forced me to realize that I was accustomed to not working hard to get things I wanted; they all just seemed to come easy to me. I was motivated to reach my goals, but I did not try to the best of my abilities to achieve those accomplishments. This one failure taught me that I have to put forth more effort for what I want and that I cannot just "coast along" expecting to get what I want. After the feeling of defeat passed, I pieced myself back together and resumed my usual routines; however, my motivation, desire, and work ethic all were redefined, and I set a place for myself in the world. The hardship I faced made me stronger in every single aspect and will only help me succeed in the future.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Dec 14, 2014   #2
Your response is not one that instills confidence in the reader. Never talk about a failure in life unless explicitly asked to do so. Always present yourself in the best light. Revise the essay by basing your theme around the best quality or trait that you identify with in the admission philosophy statement of the school. I did not see you do that in this essay. Therefore, your ready does not properly respond to its requirements. Choose the quality or trait then explain how you identify with it and how it will help you enhance the university scholar community.
OP c_brooks1 1 / 1  
Dec 14, 2014   #3
Okay thank you very much. That is really helpful.


Home / Writing Feedback / Which of my qualities would add value to community of scholars?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳