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IELTS> THE PROS AND CONS OF ANIMAL TESTING


answers: 3
Jul 16, 2011, 08:12am   #
Hello fellows, please provide me some feedback on my IELTS writing in regards to grammar, vocabulary, cohesion and task fulfillment. Thank you you all in advance. Here is the topic:

What are the advantages and disadvantages of using animals to test the medicines invented for human use? Discuss and state your own opinion.


My answer:

In recent years, the issue about animal right has garnered great attention from the society. Whether animal testing should be banned or not is still being debated by many people. Both the advantages and disadvantages of using animals in experiments for inventing medicines for humanity will be discussed in this essay before a reasonable conclusion is drawn.

First, the critics of the idea of using animals in testing medicines argue that non-human animals are living organisms like human and also they share the same place to live with humanity, so they should be considered as non-human persons and members of the moral community. Animals are hence believed to have the rights of not to be owned or not to be subjects in experiments. In addition, the researches that used animals as subjects to be tested are often criticized for enthanising most of the animals after experiments. They are also believed to provide out-of-date data which lead to misleading information and the medicines used on animals can not always be applied safely on human. This is therefore, animal testing is argued to have great disadvantages on both humans and animals.

On the other hand, the advocators of animal experimentation argue that using non-human animals in testing medicines has brought extreme benefits to human lives and is playing a very important role on many fields of researching. These supporters rely on the fact that virtually every discovery in the 20th century is resulted from animal testing and thousands of lives have been protected from dangerous diseases by medicines which were tested on animals. Moreover, until now even sophisticated computers are unable to model interactions between molecules, cells, tissues, organs, organisms, and the environment, making animal research necessary in many areas.

In conclusion, although animal testing has several certain drawbacks, it is believed to bring undeniably important benefits to humanity. It is hoped that there will be more awareness about the lives of animals to protect them from illegal hunting and being poorly treated.

naruto i see that u always help other friends to correct their essay well.. of course u will come up with a good essay.. i will just give my opinions and if m wrong, do correct me..

- animal rights

-Whether animal testing should be banned or not is still being debated by many. (i think people can be omitted here)

-First, the critics of the idea of using animals in testing medicines argue that animals (i took out non-human)are living organisms like humans and (they share the same place with us to live) also they share the same place to live with humanity, so they should be considered as non-human persons and members of the moral community.

-therefore, animal testing is argued to have great disadvantages on both humans and animals.

-....... very important role IN many fields of researching. These supporters rely on the fact that virtually every discovery in the 20th century is A RESULT OF animal testing and thousands of lives have been protected from dangerous diseases by medicines which were tested on animals.

In conclusion, although animal testing has (USE EITHER ONE) several / certain drawbacks, it is believed to bring undeniably important benefits to humanity. ( i would say : in conclusion, although animal testing has certain drawbacks, it brings tremendous benefits to humanity)

It is hoped that there will be more awareness about the lives of animals to protect them from illegal hunting and being poorly treated.
(since this has nothing to do with the topic being discussed which is animal testing, perhaps u can omit it. its like u r introducing new points)
Jul 18, 2011, 01:57am   #
I appreciate your help Sangeetha Govinden. After seeing your comment I think you were Right.

animal rights
I like the way you correct my conclusion
"in conclusion, although animal testing has certain drawbacks, it brings tremendous benefits to humanity." this sentence is clear and easy to read.

Cheers
I think you should try to sum up the MEANING of the essay in a single sentence, and put that sentence at the end of the first paragraph. Add that THESIS STATEMENT to the end of the first paragraph.

Animals are hence believed to have the rights to not be owned or not to be subjects in experiments.

...every discovery in the 20th century is the result of animal testing, and thousands of lives have been protected from dangerous diseases by medicines which were tested on animals.

I just made a few small changes. You will do well on that ietls test, I think! The quality of your English is great, leaf ninja.



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