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IELTS TASK 2: About Prevention V/S Cure


Jiya 6 / 18  
Apr 18, 2012   #1
Slaam everyone! Here is my new one essay eagerly waiting for your suggestions, ideas & comments. Hope u will take sometime for it.

Topic: " Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measure.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?


Essay

What is prevention? Prevention is the act of stopping something bad from happening. And what is cure? Cure is to make a person or an animal healthy again after an illness or to deal with a problem successfully. Prevention is always better than cure because it nips the problem in the bud. It is better to stop something bad from happening rather than try to deal with the problems after it has happened.

It is always better to control over the disease from it's starting point by a simple rule of hygiene because it could be difficult to control over it after it's spreading. For example, in the summer season if people don't care about hygienic condition or cleanliness in their houses and around the houses then because of stagnant water, dirty washrooms, uncover-food, & huge heaps of garbage, a large proportion of infectious & contagious disease can be occurred. Then there would be rush in the hospitals & people have to suffer physically & economically also. It would be better if this money, which can be wasted on cure, should spend on prevention.

There are many reasons of disease's spreading. The prime reason is the unawareness among the people. And this unawareness is because of the lack of health education. Health education is the most important part of prevention. The government & it's departments should run these type of organizations with the help of different resources such as; pamphlet, debate ceremonies etc. Media can help a lot to spread awareness among the people to organize different talk shows, programmes, moral dramas etc. Print media can also help through news articles on health issues. Even study centers can provide a range of material on this topic to the students from the early stage of learning. There should be include a subject of health education in the educational curriculum.

People should be taught how to prevent a disease at the starting point because there are a large number of diseases which spread at once like; malaria, diarrhea, cholera, flu, cough, different types of allergy, HIV, aids & much more. They should be taught how they can keep clean not only themselves, their houses but also their streets & cities. They should be aware to the symptoms of any kind of disease because some diseases become very dangerous or cause of death if they not be prevented at right time. They should be known about the benefits of weekly or monthly check-up. And they must avoid some bad habits such as; smoking, drinking, & over-eating that can be the result of death or incurable diseases like; lungs cancer, acute alcoholic hepatitis & food poisoning.

To sum up, in my opinion, an ounce of prevention is much better than a pound of cure & mostly health budget ought to be spend on prevention & on health education than treatment by government & it's departments.

Thanks!
peterc 14 / 52  
Apr 18, 2012   #2
Hi Jiya,

You could try to rephrase some wordings. It seems the same wordings are used twice in 2 consecutive sentences. For example in 3rd paragraph:

"There are many reasons of disease's spreading. The prime reason is the unawareness among the people. And this unawareness is because of the lack of health education . Health education is the most important part of prevention. ..."

Sentence structures like this are a bit weird, for me at the least.
OP Jiya 6 / 18  
Apr 26, 2012   #3
Thank you Peter! It's really helpful.


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