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Essay on "Prevention is better than Cure."


answers: 5
Nov 10, 2008, 06:34am   #
That subject has a long history and nowadays, all persons who work as medical man choose prevention ways and suggest it to others.

If we've look in narrow view to medical treatment history we found ,how many people lost their life just for unknowing a simple thing on infections and ways of affliction.
for example a specimen of fever which called milk fever is infected from milk to body and make an agitation in digestion and nervous and defensive systems in the body,it can doesn't occur if we just boiled milk.

In fact,Cure has divided in two categories,known cure treatment is belonged to the first category and second group is about the treatments is under discover processing treatment.but prevention ways is known for all of them and for avoiding afflicted with a disease we need to know just some aware which can get it from different ways like broadcasting,internet or directly from physicians.

I believe government play an important role in ascending prevention culture,they can done it by investigating in medical centers for different purposes like making training course for persons who relevant to the sickness or sending trainer to far land or border area.Give budget for developing in medical research and encourage people who work in this part.

Many countries have many people believe in traditional treatment instead of scientifically,
in many cases neither of them doesn't has scientific basis, but it has been originating from our descendant's knowledge, it mean they have test and check it on many people and their outcome can be use by medical doctor to examine and find new solutions on avoidance way or treatment.for an species it was fame from the past, it shouldn't ate melon with honey because it made disorder in digestion system.
Good evening :)

As the prompt for this essay was not included, I have made some general comments.

First, my main concern for this piece is that it is not completely coherent. By this I mean that it is very difficult to understand. For instance, what is "that subject?" What is a "medical man?" Do you mean doctors or physicians?

Here are some mechanical corrections for the first paragraph:

If we look narrowly at medical treatment history we find that many people have lost their lives just for not knowing a simple thing about infections or ways of affliction.
For example, a specimen of fever called "milk fever" is infected from milk to the body and makes an agitation in the digestive, nervous, and immune systems of the body, and it can be prevented by simply boiling milk.

Make sure you are placing spaces after your punctuation; there should always be a singular space between your punctuation mark and the first letter of the next word.

Here are the corrections for a subsequent paragraph:

I believe government plays an important role in raising the awareness of a preventative culture; they can do it by investigating medical centers for different purposes such as creating training course for people who are impacted by the illness or sending a trained medical representative to an afflicted area. Also, providing a budget for developing medical research along with encouraging people to work in this field will help raise further awareness.

Using these suggestions, go back through your piece and look for other instances such as these that need correcting, and your essay will become greatly improved.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com



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