Paragraph 1:. This essay aims to discuss both benefits and drawbacks of them.
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Believe it or not, Many students use this sentence dealing with their IELTS essays. It's better if you add one or two ideas in order to create a new sentence, instead of the common ones.
Paragraph 2 & 3:If you could, then the fact from American Zoos launched in Philadelphia in 1874 can be used as factual data to support your arguments, instead of taking these ideas below.
Negatives of Zoos-
zoos are kept in artificial environments
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cages or other sort of limited space
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They rely on humans
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loose their both ability and freedom to hunt for food
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zoos exhibit animals with the purpose of making money
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zoo animals live in unethical places as well.
Positives of Zoos-
play an important role in wildlife conservation
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help to protect endangered species of animals
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zoos are educational, interesting and fun.
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places allow scientists to study animals and their behavior
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zoological gardens provide many job opportunities
Every day I read two-three sample essays for IELTS. By doing so, it is easy for me to juxtapose old with new ideas. For this time, it is found that 90% of the ideas of this essay above retrieved from an ex-examiner's work: Simon. For those who think that it is hard to find ideas when it comes to IELTS essays, I'll say that it is OK to read, imitate, and use someone's ideas, but always remember, to prevent being penalized in the real examination, candidates should restate, paraphrase, or synthesize all the ideas. As a result, your graders are interested in reading your essay(s).
Paragraph 4I know that this is acceptable in IELTS. However, if we seriously consider that a concluding paragraph is also important, then we should highlight that a good conclusion should be written: The main points of the essay is to summarize, and then the thesis is rewrite in different words. Also, it is imperative that a writer should make a final comment about what the main ideas are about prior to emphasizing an action that should be taken.