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A person you know is planning to move to your town or city (Bangkok, Thailand)


answers: 5
A person you know is planning to move to your town or city.what do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town or city?.Why?.

( Please give me some comment about this essay)


My hometown is a bangkok city,Thailand.It is a very beautiful place and there are a lot of people moving here and there all the time.I believe that my friend,Nicky will definitely love to live in my city due to many reasons.

The first and probably the most important reason is there are many place to travel.Since nicky love to travel so I think it would benefit her. In thailand,you can travel during day and night time.In day time she can visit many beautiful temples,such as wat phra kaew,wat traimitr or even visiting wat pho.There are not only temple but there are also many places to visit like department store,floating market,deam world and etc.Moreover,at night she can enjoy night life by going to club or pub.There are also night bazaar which you can see many things for example, souvenir, cloth, thai dress, foods , drinks and etc,

Besides that,in my city there are higher opportunity in term of education and job.There are many popular universities in my city such as chulalongkorn,thammasat or mahidol university and there are also many popular public and private schools as well.Furthermore,in term of job there are many job available and you can easily find on the internet.In my city there are also easy access transportation eventhough trafic jam is the main problem in bangkok ,but there are sky train to reach in the place on time.There are many apartments in my city and some of them are near the sky train.

To sum up,Thailand is the land of smile.People are kind and always respect to each other.I believe that my friend nicky would not feel bore or regret once she move in my city.

Well, I would say that your introduction and conclusion are too short.
Try to add more information on what the essay is about in your introduction.

Also, some words are singular and should be plural.
For example, "place" should be places in the first sentence of your second paragraph.

If you just edit a little more and re-write, it should be fine. (:
Jan 19, 2011, 05:54am   #5
My hometown is a bangkok city,Thailand.It is a very beautiful place and there are a lot of people moving here and there all the time.(kind of weird...)I believe that my friend,Nicky will definitely love to live in my city due to many reasons.

The first and probably the most important reason is there are many place to travel.Since nicky love to travel so(delete one conj.) I think it would benefit her. In Thailand,you can travel during day and night time.In day time she can visit many beautiful temples,such as wat phra kaew,wat traimitr or even visiting wat pho.There are not only temples but there are also many places to visit like department store,floating market,deam world and etc.Moreover,at night she can enjoy night life by going to club or pub.There are also night bazaar which you can see many things such as, souvenir, cloth, thai dress, foods , drinks and etc,

Besides that,in my city there are more opportunities in terms of education and job.There are many popular universities in my city such as chulalongkorn,thammasat or mahidol university (capitalize the name of the universities)and there are also many popular public and private schools as well.Furthermore,in term of(well you can change it to other phrases like as for..) job there are many jobs available and you can easily find them on the internet.In my city there are also easily accessible transportation eventhough trafic jam is the main problem in bangkok ,but there are sky train to reach in the place on time.There are many apartments in my city and some of them are near the sky train.

To sum up,Thailand is the land of smile.People are kind and always respect to each other.I believe that my friend nicky would not feel bored or regret once she moves in my city.

Hi,wanthana pamee! I just help you to find some grammar errors in your essay. Generally speaking, your essay need some improvment on both vocabulary variety and paragragh structer. Though you use some words like first, besides...to make your essay more clear, the logic in each paragraghs does not develope very well. As for the grade thing, what kind of test?Anyway, keep trying and you will do better job. Good luck!
Hi,Linying....
Thank you very much for correcting my mistake and I will try my best to avoid them..
And Linying you can call me candy.It's my nick name.
where are you from?.I'm from Thailand,nice to meet you.
About the grade,I will be doing toefl exam soon so I still need to work hard on task 2 a lot.I need to practice them everyday.I did one more essay if you dont mind please kindly check for me.

Thank you very much in advance,
candy



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