Hi, I'm Pearly, I just wanted to train my writing skills, would someone be kind enough to check my essay please...
I'm really hope you'll do something...thank you very much.
"Some people think that schools are merely turning children into good citizens and workers, rather than benefiting them as in individuals." To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that schools play an extreme important role in almost people's life. Someone may say that schools are merely educating children become good citizens and workers that it does not bring the private benefits to them. In my point of view schools are not only training children to be useful people, but also giving them a great deal of the other benefits.
To begin with, those who believe that schools are just the places where teenage would be educated to be good people and employees have cogent reasons for it. First of all, perhaps since they are born, schools are the second places they have seen after their house. It means that from now on they will be contacted completely a new environment experienced with newer, wider things in reality as well as learned how to get into relationship with friends and treat others. Second point is they may be trained of ethics and lifestyles rather thorough. Generally speaking, all of these things are in order to children into honest citizens and workers.
However, if this issue is considered thoroughly, schools also benefit them as personalities more than that. Above all, by studying at schools through on text books, certain subjects such as mathematic, geography, art...that would equip them basic knowledge to improve themselves as well as on the way to get next goals. In addition, schools are still a great environment for training and developing their skills through a variety of competitions here between friends to friends. This will make children stronger, fuller, and better man. More strongly, it is undeniable that with the good achievements in academic result, what this will lead to is that they will have good opportunities to go further in the future.
In conclusion, education always plays an important role in our lives, in particular with adolescent generation who should be supposed to be at the school. Believing that if children could receive a good education today they will not only be good citizens in society but also with whatever in the future they can be.
Words: 347
1. "Extreme" is an adjective. You need to use "extremely", an adverb to qualify the adjective "important".
2. "Almost" is an adverb. You cannot use it to describe the noun "people's life". Therefore, I put "every" in this sentence.
3. "Teenage" is an adjective. You cannot use it as a subject in your sentence. "Teenagers" is the correct term.
4. In the second paragraph, the sentences marked in blue color make readers really confused because of your grammar mistakes. For example, in this sentence "all of these things are in order to children into honest citizens and workers." "In order to" should be followed by a verb, such as "transform". Please check your grammar in every sentence, and beware of the usage of words
Sincerely,
