Please revise and rate my essay/ I am going to take TOEFL exam in a week
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In today's world, everyone seeks his or her own satisfaction. People try different procedures to gain their goal and be happy. As far as I am concerned, there are two different notions about this question. Some people think that humankind is happier today in comparison to the past. While, others believe otherwise. I subscribe to the latter one, and there are several reasons to name. Three of which-that is-there are a lot of differences among people now, communication means were less a hundred year ago, and people tried to convince themselves that they are happy, are the most conspicuous ones.
The first point of my advocating this notion is that people are more different from each other nowadays than in the past. A century ago, a lot of people lived in a small village with a few facilities. However, technological developments provide a situation in which people desire to have a lot of things. New inventions appeal people to buy them. It is not possible for all the people to afford a budget that is needed to purchase such stuffs. Therefore, they feel lacking of happiness because they desire to have something, but cannot reach their goal. It makes a differential condition among people's social level, and results in unhappiness for a low level group.
The second reason that crosses my mind is that there were less opportunity for people to compare themselves with other people in order to evaluate own happiness. Happiness is a relative feeling which should be judged based on our goals. Someone who reaches his or her goal, can be assumed to be a happy person. If we travel to the past, there were less facilities by which people can observe people all around the world. Nonetheless, people are more informed by means of different communication instruments. They can investigate how comfortable or poor people in a certain country are. Nowadays, everyone tries to compare him or her by another one, and it results in the lack of happiness. But, it was not possible in the past. Moreover, people imagined that they are so successful and happy because they did not have any idea about other people's condition.
Last but not least, people were more contented in the past. Now, people are so desirable. They want to have everything. When I compare myself to my grandfather who is around eighty years old, I can understand how different we are. He mentions that he and his family lived together in a small house. It was a family which included ten persons. It is hard to imagine this situation for me. It is hard for youngsters share their room with even one person. But, people were obliged to share their room with four other persons. Besides, he says about this situation with a smile on his lips which shows that he was happy and satisfied.
To sum up what I have outlined above, people are trying more nowadays toward their goal, but, their efforts cannot be aimed easily. A lot of factors provide a situation in which gaining satisfaction becomes an uphill desire for most of the people. Therefore, they feel less satisfied today in comparison to the past.
First of all, you should have included the essay prompt in the post for us to understand what it really requires from you. Include the full prompt on top of the essay next time!
Three of which-that is-there are a lot of differences among people now, communication means were less a hundred year ago, and people tried to convince themselves that they are happy, are the most conspicuous ones.
I find this sentence is pretty complicated and does not deliver any clear idea. It is always good to conclude your introduction with a clear statement that expresses your opinion.
