Does this end with "Do you agree or disagree?"?
=> I think you lack a thesis here. Thesis is needed to show your clear opinionI believe that you want to show your first support paragraph with the topic sentence relating to "recession", but you didn't state it from the beginning, which I think will cause an uncomfortable feeling to examiners
(you should use a relative clause here instead of 2 separate sentences) . The best way to ensure a
flexible earning(It's an awkward word to me) is getting more jobs. Last but not least, corporational policy to
to pay less to inferiors is another reason that drives labour
s to work on different sectors.[/quote]
In general you have a very good writing, but the order of your sentences in paragraphs should be "topic sentence, example, discussion, conclusion". Examiners will find it easier to mark your essay.
Cheers!