Hi, overall I think the ideas are quite good. There are just a few awkward sentences, which I attempt to change around a bit below. Overall, good job!
In many countries, an
increasing number of people from small towns and villages is
moving into big cities.
One of the reasons why people prefer
to live in the
cities is more job opportunities.
Big money and high standard of living lure many people
to try their luck in cities. Moreover
, Big cities are home
to prestigious companies, which
offer lucrative packages to their employees and make their dreams come true. This is impossible in small towns
. (I think you need linking words to make the paragraph more coherent)Thus
, thousands of school pass outs and graduates shift to metropolitans to get employed by reputed organizations.
Another major reason behind this trend is the
lack of entertainment facilities and hangout places in the countryside
or small towns.
Big cities are filled with cinema halls, theme parks, night clubs, bowling alleys and many other places which allow people
to beat the stress and enjoy their free time to the fullest.
Also, to make your essay stronger, you may consider writing about other points like better education, transportation and healthcare facilities, which make a higher standard of living. Best of luck!