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People are living longer now - medicine is more advanced


The science and technologies make a great progress and human's life has become more valuable and appreciated than formerly. An each new invention on our Earth is made for human's comfortable life and instead of human's hard work, that's why it might be said that people are living longer now than centuries ago.
First, nowadays the medicine is more advanced than hundred years ago. A lot of cures and pills are made against different diseases. By new invented methods doctors are able to prevent various scarce diseases which couldn't be cured years ago. For example in ancient times a lot of people suffered and died because of bites of different dangerous wild insects. Nowadays such infects are curable and not very dangerous as formerly.
In addition, the new technologies have made people's life easier. Nowadays people don't have to do hard work in large farms, buildings etc. New machines do the whole hard work instead of people. For example in ancient Egypt a lot of slaves died by unhappy accidents during the hard work for building the huge pyramids. In contrast in modern world high buildings are built mostly by special machines which can rise heavy blocks instead of people. Besides the new technologies let the people obtain less stress than formerly. For example special technologies such as internet, television etc. allow people not to concentrate on the household boring and depressive problems, miss their far relatives etc.
To sum up it might be said that life has become relatievely safer and easier. Thanks to new technologies and great progress in medical science a lot of problems have been solved that could endanger human's life and spiritual situation. Consequently, human's live has become safer on the Earth.

Hi!
First, your thesis statement is a bit unclear and confusing to readers. I think you should clarify the part about the comfortable life and hard work. What do you mean by each new invention is made for comfort instead of hard work?
I think what you are trying to say is that new inventions are improving people's quality of life, and therefore, don't have to work as hard.

Next, your second paragraph is mainly focused on how new medicine can be used to treat diseases. It is true that it is increasing life span, but in my opinion, it has more to do with preventing suffering rather than increasing comfort.

Also, be careful when you say people don't have to work on farms and in factories, because there are still a lot of people working in these areas. A lot of agriculture, product manufacture, and food processing factories still require a lot of human labor, as not everything can be relied on machines.

Lastly, explain why it is good to not face the problems that arise in life. It can be easily argued that people need to face these problems in order to overcome them, and that they should not try to avoid them through distractions like the internet. I recommend that you choose other advantages of having these technologies.

You also have a number of grammar mistakes, so I copied and pasted your essay below. The words in blue are the ones I've changed:
Science and technologies have made great progress and human life has become increasingly valuable and appreciated than before. Each new invention on our Earth is made for human comfort instead of human's hard work, and that's why it might be said that people are living longer now than centuries ago.
First, nowadays medicine is more advanced than a hundred years ago. A lot of cures and pills have been invented to fight against different diseases. By these new methods, doctors are able to treat various diseases which couldn't be cured years ago. For example in ancient times a lot of people suffered and died because of bites of different dangerous insects. Nowadays such infects are curable and not as dangerous before.
In addition, the new technologies have made people's lives easier. Nowadays people don't have to do hard work in large farms, buildings etc. New machines do the whole hard work instead of the people. For example in ancient Egypt a lot of slaves died through unfortunate accidents during the hard work for building the huge pyramids. In contrast in modern world high buildings are built mostly by special machines that can raise heavy blocks instead of having the people do it by hand. Besides the new technologies allow people to have less stress than before. For example special technologies such as internet, television etc. allow people not to concentrate on their household boring and depressive problems, miss their far relatives etc.
To sum it up it might be said that life has become relatively safer and easier. Thanks to new technologies and great progress in medical science a lot of problems have been solved that could endanger human's life and spiritual situation. Consequently, human's live have become safer on the Earth, and therefore will be able to live longer than ever now.
  Closed ✓


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