Unanswered [0] / Urgent [0]
 

Home / Writing Feedback /     

TOEFL:people learn in different ways and what teaching method do you prefer?


answers: 2
Apr 1, 2010, 08:28pm   #1
subject :People learn in different ways. Some people learn by doing things; other people learn by reading about things; others learn by listening to people talk about things. Which of these methods of learning is best for you? Use specific examples to support your choice.

People have a lot of things to learn in their lives. They use several ways to broaden their knowledge and their skills. One of these several ways of learning that I prefer is doing things by my self rather than learning by reading about things or learning by listening to people talking about . There are a lot of reasons to recommend this method for who is serious about learning some thing in their lives.

First of all, learning by doing things develops our maturity. When you do things by your self, you learn to depend on yourself. You will not be in need to refer to books or persons. The fact of doing things by ourselves can help us to get some experiences that would strong our maturity. For example if some one wants to learn how to be a leader , they have to experience this by being in a real situation of leading a team or a group, or even a situation. We can not be leaders by reading books or by listening to person talking about leading.

Secondly, learning by doing things is more exciting than learning by reading about things or listening to people talking about. There are a lot of things in life that should be learnt by doing them. Reading about things or listening to people talking about can rarely submit the same sensation or the same excitement to some one who wants to learn about the same thing. People who want to learn how to swim have to go to the beach or to the swimpool and laid themselfelves in the water to feel and know what is swimming. Nor listening to people or reading about can teach them swimming.

Another reason that makes learning by doing things more advantageous than learning by reading about things or listening to people talking about is that we find more motivation to continuing on learning by doing things. With the time, Reading about things or listening to people talking about could become more and more boring. Leaning by doing things gives us more and more pleasure especially if we success in learning perfectly this things. So we become motivated to learn other things by doing them.
The history shows that learning by doing things is the best way and the best method to learn things. People should not depend only on reading or listening to people talking about things to learn. They should try and keep trying until they learn what they want to learn.


please , i need your corrections .thanks

Apr 1, 2010, 11:23pm   #2
Good start in the intro
djanat:
One of these several ways of learning that I prefer is doing things by my self rather than learning by reading about things or learning by listening to people talking about .
However, this sentence was quite a run-on. Ask yourself what you were trying to say. Then make it somewhat shorter. Something like: Of these many choices, I prefer to do things by myself* (one word) rather than read or listen about them. Yet, the "things" is still ambiguous. What do you mean? That in everything you do? in what you try to do? for hands-on activities?
djanat:
There are a lot of reasons to recommend this method for who is serious about learning some thing in their lives.
Here you write as if you are trying to persuade someone. Maybe another transition? Or use that last part "serious about learning something" about why you enjoy/prefer doing things by yourself, and explain why in the following paragraphs.

djanat:
When you do things by your self, you learn to depend on yourself. You will not be in need to refer to books or persons.
I see. this is clear. Try, however, to use first person. 'When I do things by myself, I learn to depend on my own abilities. I do not need to refer to...' This makes the essay stronger and more personal. I'll just mention this here, but elsewhere too, make it a personal essay.
djanat:
would strong our maturity
strengthen* our
djanat:
, or even a situation.
what did you want to say here? Good point though. I like it
djanat:
to the swimpool and laid themselfelves in the water
Another interesting example. 'swimming* pool and place* (better word) themselves* in the water' ...what swimming is*
djanat:
Nor listening to people or reading about can teach them swimming.
Neither* listening
So still no real definition of what you mean by 'doing things,' but I guess it depends what those things are.
djanat:
Leaning by doing things gives us more and more pleasure especially if we success in learning perfectly this things.
Just a question: how do you learn perfectly without someone or something to teach you? Maybe for some things, but for others this doesn't really work. Yet, you do make the point of "if we succeed* in learning" these things...there is pleasure. That is true I guess.
djanat:
So we become motivated to learn other things by doing them.
true, but if you wanted to use 'success,' you can use it here. Success motivates us to learn to do other things and 'challenge ourselves to do more.'

Should be a new paragraph:
djanat:
The hHistory shows that learning by doing things is the best way and the best method to learn things. People should not depend only on reading or listening to people talking about things to learn. They should try and keep trying until they learn what they want to learn.
way= method (synonyms) I like the "should not depend ONLY" it shows that you don't reject them entirely. Good ending statement too.

Things to focus on: make it personal because the prompt asks about YOU!
use, if possible, more in depth examples, but what you have are also good.
lastly, try to make sure you don't use "thing" as much because it is a vague or ambiguous word.
Overall, well written. Good luck with your test!
Thanks Jon, these are great corrections.

They use several ways methods to broaden their...

One of these several methods of ...

your self yourself

Secondly, learning by doing things is more exciting than learning by reading about things or listening to people talking about them.

You will do well on the test. Your mistakes are not serious ones. Something I can help with, though, is to tel you about using the word reason:
Another reason factor that makes learning by doing things more advantageous...
Another reason that makes learning by doing things more advantageous...
either of these, above, will be okay. But the reasn does not "make" something happen. I can say this:
The reason I want to go to college involves some discontent and some passion.
Or I can say this:
The reason I correct essays is quite confusing.
When you talk about a reason and want to say it causes something, you can use the word "factor."
Another "factor" that makes learning by doing things more advantageous...


good luck!! thanks for helping so many writers at EF.



Home / Writing Feedback /

Thread closed ✓