Topic: Some people believe that history has little to tell us. Ohter people believe that people must have a knowledge of history in order to understand the present
Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.How many scores i can get. Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Essay:
Nowadays, some people ignore the importance of history since they deem that the knowledge of history is useless. While, others insist that have a knowledge of history is able to assist us to precisely apprehand the present. In my point of view, i prefer that people should have certain understandings of history.
For the people who hold an opposit sentiment to have a cognition of history, they may consider that history is the past, and past can barely tell us what is going to happen tomorrow. Indeed, history is about nothing but past. However, it does not mean that past is not as significant as future. On the contrary, history equibs us with the ability to distinguish the right and wrong. We can also detect the defects of our society by examing the history or past.
For example, as mankind created the fisrt nuclear weapons, the enormous power of these weapon always along with lots of devastating consequences. When American troops release its fisrt atomic bomb in Japan, the whole world was shocked. However, few decades eplased, many countries abandoned their plan of making nuclear weapon as their saw the history, they leart that nuclear weapon is the nightmare of all human beings. The history teached the world a lesson. If people refuse to properly and adequately realise history. The outcomes will be catastrophic.
We can't and mustn't neglect or overlook the importances of histroy. History serve as a guider, guide the road which is full of darkness and uncertainties for us. It make up introspect ourselves, enlight our souls.
History, not only assist us to accurately understand the present, but also direct the path of future for all of us. Therefore, i consitently believe that we must have a knowledge of history.
END
Hi,
I think the structure of the essay is not appropriate, and u could not cover all parts of the topic. The topic asked u to discuss two opposite viewpoints. Therefor, you should write about the first and second views as the second and third paragraphs, respectively. At the fourth paragraph u should expand your own idea. Finally, write a conclusion.
Vocabulary and grammar of the essay looks fine, but the score of the essay cannot be higher than 5.5 because of a wrong organization.Before rewording the topic in the introduction, you need to open the first paragraph with a motivator or thesis statement to attract attention of a reader.
For example, as mankind create
You opened a paragraph with an example!!! this is wrong. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence.When American troop
s release
dmany countries abandoned their plan of making nuclear weapon
asresulting in their
sawobservation of the history
The two last paragraphs can be considered as conclusions. I could not find out which one is a conclusion. You should, start a conclusion with a term like "in conclusion", to distinguish the final paragraph of an essay. In addition, in a conclusion, you should restate the topic or the first paragraph and then write an ending statement.Regards
Ahmad
While, others insist that haveing a knowledge of history is able to assist us to precisely apprehand the present. In my point of view, iI prefer that people should have atleast somecertain understandingsabout what happened in the pastof history.
When American troops released its fisrt atomic bomb in Japan, the whole world was shocked.
The history teachedtaught the world a lesson.
I wish to suggest this structure for your future essays since many people recommend it for IELTS and TOEFL essays.
1 para - Introduction which includes your view on the argument (this you have done nicely in your essay)
2 para - First reason why you think so supported with an example ( you have given the reason in your second para, but your example goes to the 3rd para.... I suggest both reason and example should be in one para)
3 para - second reason with the supporting example
4 - conclusion - briefly sum up everything you said above and reinstate your belief
Hope this would help you... Good Luck with IELTS :)
