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Some people are born with certain talents..


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Dec 23, 2009, 02:48am   #
Topic : It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Plz check my writing and what problem is in my writing.

Nowadays, there are talented people in the world. It is common opinion that some people are born with some talents such as for sport or music but others are not. However, other people claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. In my opnion, I believe that some people are born with talents.

First of all, at the present there are many innate people who have their specific talents. For example, some children are not taught any skills such as for sport or music but they naturally do act such as playing musical instruments or controlling their skills when they are young. Any one did not teach them but they do some admirable action. This means that some children are born with some talents.

However, there are a lot of people without any talents so when they grow up, they try to learn some skills like early speaking or playing musical instruments. Nevertheless, many people try continously but they do not forgive up learning for special skills. As people develop their own ability, they can feel achievements. Afterall, When they are adults, they persieve strange feelings.

Having discussed the above, some people are born with talents. THis is lucky for them. Nevertheless, people are try to get special talents. Although I agree this statement, nutural is quite important for them. If they do not develop their innate talents, talents in them may decline.

Dec 23, 2009, 04:03am   #
Welcome to EssayForum!

Discuss means to describe the pros and cons of each view right?

Seong:
Nowadays, there are talented people in the world.
True, but just saying talented is enough? innumerable* talented people...
Seong:
In my opinion, I believe that some people are born with talents.
okay, so your view is that of the prompt? Maybe a little creativity in your essay?

Seong:
For example, some children are not taught any skills such as for sport or music but they naturally do act such as playing musical instruments or controlling their skills when they are young. Any one did not teach them but they do some admirable action. This means that some children are born with some talents.
this conclusion is somewhat weak because you don't incorporate much evidence before. you mention the example, but that seems very hypothetical, and abstracted. Do you have an personal experiences that you can include?
Seong:
Any one did not teach them but they do some admirable action.

No one taught them but they perform admirably.*

Seong:
However, there are a lot of people without any talents so when they grow up, they try to learn some skills like early speaking or playing musical instruments.
I think you got your wording confused. You mention earlier that you believe that some people are born with talents. you didn't mention that many are not*. this somewhat diminishes the validity of your opinion, so to speak
Another thing, using the for instance examples again and again don't show creativity or real understanding of the prompt/topic.
Seong:
Nevertheless, many people try continously but they do not forgive up learning for special skills. As people develop their own ability, they can feel achievements. Afterall, When they are adults, they persieve strange feelings.
what did you mean here? that people who don't have innate skills have to learn them? that once they learn, only then can they achieve (success)? what are those feelings they perceive*?

Seong:
In my opnion, I believe that some people are born with talents.
to strengthen this part of the essay, try including the fact that you still understand that many are not born with talents.

Comments: Work on thinking more about the prompt before you write about it. That way you can have more to write about. Work on some spelling and grammar as well. Strengthening your argument will come naturally the more you write. Your transitions are good.
Dec 23, 2009, 02:31pm   #
It sounds like a really good start. If you are going to take the side with some people are born with talents, then you should also discuss how people not born with talents can achieve some of the stuff they do. Also, explain what "being boring with talents" mean. Maybe say how some children of incredible athletes have a "gene" in them that causes them to be exceptional at sports.
Dec 23, 2009, 05:38pm   #
Hi there,
I would say that you essay seemed very good to me, but I think you would need more example to support your argument even though you may have not taken any side in the argument. Like for example you can write about a valedictorian of a very competitive high school, how he is able to take various all AP course and manage to get 100s in all of them.

I hope that helps :D



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