Unanswered [7] / Featured [1] / Urgent [0]
 

Home / Writing Feedback /     

Peace Corps Essay Question (discovering new things, overcoming challenges, conquests)


answers: 5
Aug 19, 2009, 12:12pm   #
Peace Corps service presents major physical, emotional, and intellectual challenges. You have provided information on how you qualify for Peace Corps service elsewhere in the application. In the space below, please provide a statement (between 250-500 words) that includes:
1) Your reason for wanting to serve as a Peace Corps Volunteer; and
2) How these reasons are related to your past experiences and life goals.

Response:
I am motivated to serve as a Peace Corps volunteer for many reasons. Throughout my life I have enjoyed discovering new things, overcoming challenges, embarking on new conquests, and achieving the goals I have set out for myself. The Peace Corps presents an opportunity for me to do all of these things in a brand new way that I have never experienced before. I am eager to dive into a culture and way of life different from the one I live in now. I want not only to experience another culture in order to learn about diverse customs and beliefs, but also to teach others about where I come from, what I believe in and how we can all help each other.
I hope to gain many things during my Peace Corps service. I want to develop a global mind, expand my language skills and become more aware of the cross-cultural benefits I can provide to others. I seek an adventure unlike anything I have come across in my life thus far. I look forward to enhancing my awareness of diversity across the world. I desire to have a role in a community where I am a collaborator, a friend and a motivator to many different people. The Peace Corps provides the opportunity for me to expand my horizons and immerse myself in a whole new way of life.
After my Peace Corps service, I hope to have developed new language skills and a better understanding of the world beyond my backyard. I plan to use my degree in elementary education to become a school teacher after my service with the Peace Corps. I will use the skills and experiences I learned from the Peace Corps to help me understand the diversity of the classroom I will be teaching in and use it to my advantage. I want to provide my future students with illuminating stories and the opportunity to also experience a new world other than the one they live in.

Aug 19, 2009, 12:20pm   #
shell5811:
I am motivated to serve as a Peace Corps volunteer for many reasons.

Unnecessary.

shell5811:
Throughout my life I have enjoyed discovering new things, overcoming challenges, embarking on new conquests, and achieving the goals I have set out for myself.

Too vague. This is true for virtually everyone.

shell5811:
The Peace Corps presents an opportunity for me to do all of these things in a brand new way that I have never experienced before.

"Brand new" and "never experienced before" are redundant. And, again, this is true for everyone applying to the Peace Corps, unless they've served before.

I could go on. The problem is that you don't answer the prompt with any specificity at all until your last paragraph and, even there, you tend toward vagueness. I'm afraid you're going to have to start over, being mindful of the need to answer the questions with specificity and detail.
Aug 19, 2009, 01:03pm   #
Could you give me an example of how I should go into detail. These "vague" reasons are really the reasons I want to join the Peace Corps-which is the question I am supposed to be answering. Can you help me make them more specific even if they really are that simple? Thanks for your help.
Only you can help make them more specific because only you know the details that will add meaning to the sentence.
Your vagueness stems down to the fact that you are just making factual statements.
Making them specific will involve some personal opinions and personal perspectives.
Aug 19, 2009, 03:22pm   #
Unless they are brain-dead, everybody enjoys new experiences. Almost everybody sets goals and enjoys achieving them. You need to say, specifically, what life experiences you have had that sparked your interest in the Peace Corps and, specifically, what sorts of challenges you look forward to facing in the Peace Corps.



Home / Writing Feedback /

Thread closed ✓