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TOEFL-Which one do you prefer, to live in a big city (I incline) or in a small town?


answers: 8
Jan 18, 2011, 06:02pm   #
Please help me refine my essay, thanks!

Topic:
Which one do you prefer, to live in a big city or in a small town?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.


Some people prefer to live in a big city, while others tend to live in a country. The life in a small town may benefit to people's health for less stress and pollution. Nevertheless, there are many advantages for people to live in the city, such as more facilities, more job opportunities and higher quality of education. For my inclination, I prefer to live in a big city.

First, there are more facilities available in the city, such as convenient public transportation. We can take subway to almost anywhere within ...
SEE BELOW

Jan 18, 2011, 08:19pm   #
Good transitions.
I have some suggestions for parts of your essay, posted below.

-The life in a small town may benefit to people's health for less stress and pollution.
-Nevertheless, there are many advantages for people to live in the city (maybe change this to "living in the city"? I think it flows better), such as more facilities, more job opportunities and higher quality of education.
-For my inclination, I prefer to live in a big city. (You do not need "For my inclination". The sentence becomes redundant.)
-For example, restaurants would hire more employees to serve their customers.
-In contrast, population in the country is much less than that in the city, as do employments (I get the idea you're trying to get through, but it sounds bad. Perhaps you could try "hence the employment rate is much lower.").
-Well-educated people should know something about everything and everything about something (Really?).

Overall, great essay!
hello yecochi,
i saw your essay, which has good point to support you essay. it's good essay.
I will take toefl test next month, hope we can be friend and help each other.

good luck!
Jan 20, 2011, 07:44pm   #
TO KeyJewel: Thank you very much!
TO taylor kong: ok! Good luck to you, too!

Some people prefer to live in a big city, while others tend to live in a country. The life in a small town may benefit to people's health for less stress and pollution. Nevertheless, there are many advantages for people living to live in the city, such as more facilities, more job opportunities and higher quality of education. For my inclination, I prefer to live in a big city.

First, there are more facilities available in the city, such as convenient public transportation. We can take subway to almost anywhere within only several minutes. However, there may not be such convenient subway in the country, so we have to take a bus, which is much slower than the subway does.

Secondly, big cities provide abundant job opportunities. Numerous people create various needs and thus many jobs. For example, restaurants would hire more employees to serve their customers. More household machines in need of repair require more engineers for maintenance. In contrast, population in the country is much less than that in the city; hence the employment rate is much lower/ ,as do employment rate in consequence .

Would this one be better?

Lastly, big cities lend more chances for high quality of education. Well-educated people should know something about everything and everything about something, said Mr. Ford. There are various resources and information readily available in the big city. The residents there can easily acquire books, shows and movies in different fields. On the other hand, those resources might be difficult to obtain for inhabitants in the country.

In sum, I incline to live in the city for those benefits discussed above. Big cities provide more facilities as well as more chances for employments and education. Although there are less polluted environments and stressful lifestyle in the country, these advantages cannot outweigh the attractions for me to choose a big city as a living place. After all, people are people and we all have our own propensity. Residence/ habitation is one of them.

1.Restaurants would hire more employees to serve their customers.
Why should "would" be deleted?

2.For my inclination, I prefer to live in a big city.
I tried to put some transition words to make the sentences develop more flowly.
How to improve it?
Jan 21, 2011, 06:05pm   #
Restaurants would hire more employees to serve their customers.
Why should "would" be deleted?

It wouldn't, if you were trying to convince a large group of people to move to the city. This is about what YOU prefer. If more people moved in, or started using the restaurant, the restaurant would need/could hire more employees. A restaurant in a rural area would most likely have a much smaller staff list, because it would not need/couldn't afford more employees. Perhaps I misunderstood the intent of the sentence.
Jan 29, 2011, 09:59pm   #
Hello, yecochi

Again, thank you for giving me feedback to my writing submission.
It will be good if we can help each other to improve our writing skill.
Here is some of my suggestions.

Some people prefer to live in a big city, while others tend to live in a country. The life in a small town may benefit to people's health for less stress and pollution. Nevertheless, there are many advantages for people to live in the city, such as more facilities, more job opportunities and higher quality of education. For my inclination, I prefer to live in a big city.

Firstly, there are more facilities available in the city, such as convenient public transportation. We can take subway to almost anywhere within only several minutes. However, there may not be such convenient subway in the country, so we have to take a bus, which is much slower than the subway does.

Secondly, big cities provide abundant job opportunities. Numerous people create various needs and thus many jobs. For example, restaurants would hire more employees to serve their customers. More household machines in need of repair require more engineers for maintenance. In contrast, population in the country is much less than that in the city, as do employments.

Lastly, big cities lend more chances for high quality of education. Well-educated people should know something about everything and everything about something. There are various resources and information readily available in the big city. The residents there can easily acquire books, shows and movies in different fields. On the other hand, those resources might be difficult to obtain for inhabitants in the country.

I modify your fourth paragraph based on your education idea.
Lastly, a big city is a center of education. There are a number of prestigious schools and universities. For example, bla bla bla (name of school). Moreover, there are various fields of education at these repetitive universities which do not provide at the universities in a small town. For instance, aviation, bla, bla.


In sum, I incline to live in the city for those benefits discussed above. Big cities provide more facilities as well as more chances for employments and education. Although there are less polluted environments and stressful lifestyle in the country, these advantages cannot outweigh the attractions for me to choose a big city as a living place. After all, people are people and we all have our own propensity. Habitation is one of them.

To start on paragraph 2, 3, 4 (body of the essay), you can use first, second, third or firstly, secondly, thirdly. It should be all the same function word.
Feb 4, 2011, 10:16am   #
In contrast, the population in the country is much less than that in the city; hence the employment rate is much lower as do employment rate in consequence .---This first part of this sentence is great, but the second part, which I crossed out, does not make sense.

This is such a great thread. Thanks for starting it, Chi-han Huang. Do you have more questions?

I like this expression; I have never heard this before:
Well-educated people should know something about everything and everything about something.
Feb 13, 2011, 06:50am   #
Some people prefer to live in a small town while others prefer to live in a big city.
There always been a great difference between living in a city or in a small town. I had spent my childhood in a small town and came to the cities quite late in my life when I got married. It is totally a personal matter, where one wants to spend his life in. I have seen a huge difference between a small town and a big city. Both have their own advantages and disadvantages. Living in small town is not my cup of tea. I really enjoy spending time in the cities because of many reasons.
The big cities are much more forward in the matter of educational systems. The universities present in the big cities are more standardized and accredited than the colleges in a small town. The facilities available in the laboratories and classes are more advanced compared to the classes and labs in small towns. Therefore, if someone wants to provide their children the best of education then I think big cities are the a better choice.
The cities also have the advantage of all the modern health care facilities. In small towns the hospitals are not that big and if some unfortunate calamity occurs then the affected people have to rush to the town big cities or the government tries to send the health care personnel to that place, thus increasing the risk of to lives. And this all occurs due to the unavailability of emergency treatment that could have been readily given in the city hospitals.
There is are also the opportunity several opportunities in the big towns cities to meet people of different origin and cultures. The people from various parts of the world are seen in the cities working or studying with the natives of that place, thus opening the gates (increasing the possibilities of) for to further knowledge and culture distribution.
The life in the cities is very fast paced. The means of transportation has been improved a lot through the last decade, which has made the life in the cities very convenient. The underground train system has emerged as a boon for to the mankind.
Then the one more reason that makes me fall in love with prefer the big cities is easy availability of all the newly launched products ranging from electronics to the dresses and cosmetics .All these products come to the market as soon as they are released , on the contrary these things take years to reach the marketplace of small towns.
Because the increased sophistication of life in the cities , I prefer to live in the cities , though there are a few disadvantages also like pollution , life is very busy and hectic in cities ,in spite of that, I believe humans have the ability to manage these problems in some way or the other especially when the profits are enormous .



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