Hello everybody. That is the first time I do writing ielts. So I really glad anyone who mistake grammar, word,.. in my essay. Thank you!!!
In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in small community?
Nowadays, this is a social trend that people are moving from suburban areas to urban areas. Because the small villages have poor facilities. Otherwise, living in small villages made people felt more comfortable than lived in the big cities. In this essay, I would talk both of sides: advantages and disadvantages of living in suburban areas.
Everybody know that VietNam was one of the strongest agricultural country over the war. For the first time, we worked in rice field day by day. This activities required that everybody worked together. So that, the villages had a lot of social communities. Even they were busy with their work, they might greeting or chatting with another people in several minutes. Otherwise, people always busy in work, they didn't have little time to talk with anyones when thay lived in the cities. The social activities such as talking, chatting happened on the Internet like facebook, twitter. That was made everybody became stranger, unfriendly. Also, everybody could attend some natural activities which you couldn't do when people lived in urban areas like fishing, climbing. That helped members of their family were closely. Besides, living in suburban areas that meant you lived in an healthy enviroment. Because, they used helpful vehicles such as bicycle, walk on foot. So people could avoid the noisy traffic, dusty air which always happened in the cities. That influenced very much on your health. There were the positive sides of living in suburban areas.
Although living in villages made us felt relaxed, that brought us something very poor. People whose children's time went to school would have many troublers. Because living in villages that meant you would have a dull education, poor healthcare, weak security. In addition, one of the most important reason that people moved from villages to cities was finance. In villages had fewer jobs than cities. Even it were very boring, tired, and they received a little money. So that, living in villages brought a hard time than living in the cities.
In my opinion, living in the crowded cities is better than living in the small villages. Because I love modern technology. Once time, I came to countryside. That was terrible time! No fan, no internet, no TV just radio. However, it was very peaceful and fresh air, people who lived in there very frienfly, generous.
Ultimately, living in urban or suburban areas has positive and negative sides. Living in anywhere depend on our lifestyle. But children who lived in village would have basic knowledge like: they know how to live healthy, how to save or spend money suitable, especially they know how to behave friendly with everybody in our society
Hi tekikurin.
Nice essay.
I think your writing skill is good.
But i noticed some simple errors, not serious :D
Nowadays, this is a social trend that people are moving from suburban areas to urban areas. It is Because the small villages have poor facilities. Otherwise, living in small villages made people feltfeel more comfortable than lived living in the big cities. In this essay, I wouldwill talk both of the sides: advantages and disadvantages of living in suburban areas.
Everybody know that VietNam was one of the strongest agricultural country overduring{it is more convenient } the war. For the first time, we worked in rice fields day by day. This activities required that everybody worked together. So that , {so that is not for sentence like this } Thus the villages had a lot of social communities. EvenEven though they were busy with their work, they might greeting or chatting with another people in several minutes. Otherwise, people always busy in work, they didn'twould not have little time to talk with anyones when the y lived in the cities. The social activities such as talking, chatting happened on the Internet like facebook, twitter. That was made everybody became become stranger, unfriendly. Also, everybody could attend some natural activities which you{this makes this sentence inconvenient : begin with everybody and now you} couldn't do when people lived in urban areas like fishing, climbing. That helped members of their family werebecome closely. Besides, living in suburban areas that meant that you lived in an healthy enviroment. this is Because, they used helpful vehicles such as bicycle or walk on foot. So people could avoid the noisy traffic, dusty air which always happenedexists in the cities. That influenced very much onnegatively your health. There were the positive sides of living in suburban areas.
1. Sometimes some sentences contain many commas wrongly
2. Remember It does not mean that everything I corrected is completely my right and your wrong. Even i am still learning English like YOU.
3. GOOD LUCK
