Should newspapers and magazines protect famous people privacy?

I want an essay to reviewed for my ielts exam. Need a band above 8

Here is my topic

Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people. We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes and who they love. We also often see pictures of them in private situations.



Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give this kind of private information about people?

Give reasons for your answer.

Write at least 250 words.

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My essay

In the current world media's become a dominant factor for publicity and many celebrities're shown in the media because of their popularity among people. Quite often, people see a life story of a famous person and some times newspaper and magazines have provided in-depth stories as well. In my view, it's fairly important to publish their habits and stories because people would like knowing who they support.

Some people around the world worship these famous people, so therefore these people have become icons in the society and they are given the responsibility and opportunity influence a lot of people, especially younger generation. For example, some kids from school have joined certain sports activities because of their idols play that type of sports. And those players are responsible for showing good behavior because some day those kids might follow sportsmen's' foot step. Famous people behavior might have direct impact on people.

People would like to know who they are supporting and without a support there won't be any popular people. And that's how people bond with those people. Even though they don't know the famous personally, they could trust the person. President is a famous man in community and people support the nation's leader because he's openness to the community and people trust and back him up. Perception could result in support and confidence.

Most people in the current world have a lot of day-to-day stressful jobs. And because of that perhaps people would like to escape the reality and focus on a fantasy world or read harsh stories rather than dealing with people's problems. For example, a day time soap celebrities' life in America are mostly used as an escapism among viewers. Therefore, Famous people life stories could help to escape from reality.

However, it's harsh to provide in-depth stories of a person, because every person's entitled to have a right keep secrecy and particularly celebrities value privacy. On the other hand, famous people must share their lives among the public in order to grow publicity.

In conclusion, It's fairly appropriate to share their stories with public because public have brought them to that level and It's good to provide something in return and let community know who they supported.

An interesting response! I think you give good reasons for your position.

In my view...

Not really sufficient thesis sentence. You need to formally introduce each reason you will introduce, within the intro.

In conclusion...

Again, you need to correct your conclusion by wrapping up all the ideas you introduced in the body paragraphs.

Your essay could be condensed into five paragraphs, because it seems to be unnecessary to draw it out to six.

Good vocabulary and grammar. Your word choices are excellent, as you discuss the subject thoroughly. Good use of transitional phrases and examples. Just fix up your first and last paragraph to include all the major points of the body paragraphs.

Good job!

ef _carol